The Dog Bill of Rights

Superior Man and Dumb Dog

Who among us isn't completely cheesed off at dogs, the way they act, their behavior? It's my constant complaint, that's for sure. Obviously, I'm not ready for the new way of doing things, mollycoddling animals to excess. This bending over backwards to cater to their every wish and desire, it's all too much. They used to put a plate of food on the table for us kids -- we loved food -- and we about killed each other, fighting for every morsel we could grab. If it was good enough for me, it's good enough for the dog; they don't need babied.

Back then and ever since, I've had dogs. I miss the dogs of those days. Grateful for every little scrap, always doing their bathroom duties where they stood. You didn't have to make a plea or say a prayer. Just bang, they went, a grunt or a whiz. Drop and give us a gallon. No questions asked, no prancing, no mincing, no searching for a better spot, no putting it off for later.

Of course I've tried to keep up with the times, and I'm sorry to say, it's not pretty. Every guy I run into, they're also spoiled, because, "I know my rights...," always said in that wheedling, weak, ineffectual tone of voice, how everything's said these days. You see someone like that, if you have any strength at all, you're tempted to put their arm behind their back and hoist it, till they cry bloody murder, or at least come to their senses. I'd be great to get back to that dog-eat-dog world. It'd certainly save time. I grunt, you move! You don't ask why. Here! Now! 50 pushups, mister! Faster, buddy!

But who am I kidding? We know the way it is today. Men, you can push 'em over with a feather. Women, the same old story. Dogs, they're entitled and they know it. The only thing that isn't fully domesticated in modern times is the cat. But they're well on the way, on the couch, getting fat, looking like a pillow gone bad. But there's a cat here in the Big City I know. It's holed up in a basement window with bars on it, taking care of a little cat. Getting snowed on, blown on, rained on. No one helps that cat; it helps itself. I saw it yesterday heading back there and I didn't give it any encouragement. Just turned my head and forgot about it. I got troubles of my own.

That cat's a lot different than my dog. Yes, I spoiled my dog, back home. And now we're in a rougher world, the Big City. So what's the trouble? This business of doing her business! We go out so many times in a day, then she gives me the runaround on finding a suitable place! I think what any disgruntled tough guy'd think: Squat, dammit! We need more panthers, less pussycats. If a panther jumped out and took a piece out of my dog's hindquarters, she'd think twice next time about not pooping pronto! Believe it, that's on my bond.

But she obviously thinks we are going by the Animal Bill of Rights here, even when my brain is crawling like a pie of worms or snakes, and my thoughts are so tortured that I'm about to bust: I got problems of my own, dog! You think I'm personally taking stool softener 'cause I want to? No, I don't dare delay either. When it's time to drop and do it, it's time! Instead, what do I get from her? Another hour in the frigid winter's night... Creepy crawling around town, passing many a good snow drift, looking instead for those rare places where the snow has melted, like manhole covers on the streets, just so she can tinkle or poo poo. Give me a break!

It really gets me. I'm shaking my head even now, hours later! These domesticated animals, so soft, and so thankless, unfeeling, uncaring. They get that bold attitude of "You adopted me, stupid, you're stuck with me!" O, I hate to lower the boom on you, sister, but maybe you've noticed, We're in the Big City now! They do things different here. Part of it's my own survival. I haven't got hours to give you. Guys are coming up the street and going down the street. They'd knife me for a dime. But does the dog care?

Finally, then, she does something. On the fifth time we've been out in the last two hours! Then she looks at me like it's accomplished, time for a treat! The attitude really sucks, my dear! How about this, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Do the task with the urgency it demands -- Drop! Go now! And back in! -- and maybe I can see my way clear to lay a little treat morsel on you. Yeah, that's how it works. Makes more sense than, "I wasted two or three hours of your time, risked your life for the effort, and finally passed a small one. Give me a big treat..." It's sickening, I'm waving it off...

The only thing she's fast with is the false claim that she's ready to go out. I know how it is, the psychology. The more she demands, the more I give in. But this is the Big City! We used to live in a little burg that lulled us into a slumber, with no fear of security. And she hasn't made the shift, out of ignorance. If only I could be that blind to the environment! To the times.

Well, one of these days, my dear, you'll get yours... So sleep on, little one, take your rest. May as well not wake you. Too late to change your attitude from uncaring to hair-on-fire. Too late to go from soft as Grandma's underarm to tough-as-nails, nail tough... Just know this, when the wolf comes knocking at the door, it's you he'll be looking for.

Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough -- IV

This is my fourth and final post today on the theme of being "Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough."

It's been a pleasure to develop it as a theme, starting with the idea, then carrying it through to the finish at the close of the day.

Anything like this can potentially change your mind and life. Without much expense. No one's asking you to buy a shelf load of self-help books. Or go to an expensive conference.

Instead, life is free for the living. (That's also a theme we'll be developing in upcoming days.) You've got what you need to get the job done in a good way. Or certainly everything can be gotten quickly if you just know a little bit about it.

I myself, like I've said a couple times today, am not Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough. But I'm aimed that way. Anyway, whether it's a state of mind or a psychic condition that you'd want to be all the time, I can't see it. It'd be a lot better, in my opinion, to be Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough when you needed to be. And I actually can manage that for brief stretches of time.

Now that I've said that, I hasten to add that being Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough even for brief stretches is not a one dimensional thing. It'd be mindless at that point and get you in more trouble than you had before. It's not just standing Tough, let's say, but it has to be mixed in with a lot of good sense, such as yielding, bobbing, weaving, hewing a middle course, etc.

What it means, then, is to be Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough in all those (and other) pursuits which make up the overall pursuit.

Can you picture being Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough in yielding? Imagine that. It's like stepping aside for someone, honoring them perhaps, forgiving them perhaps, being a person of grace, yet doing it in a Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough way. That blows my mind, but really that's what I mean by the concept.

It's a concept that suggests strength, but strength in all its possible dimensions. Often surprising.

Biff! Bang! Pow! -- "Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough"

EVENING:

~Biff! Bang! Pow! Happening right now, Biff, Bang, Pow!~

This is definitely something real, being psychologically "Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough."

There are certain conceptual self-help principles anyone could follow.

You can just make them up. No one has to tell you. Like I told my dentist today, mysteriously, you already know it all.

On being "Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough," I could take a few surgical strikes right now if I needed to.

Except today is more a day to think about it than to do it.

I was in the dentist's chair today and she asked me what I've been doing. Projects. What kind of projects? Self-help projects.

I didn't want to get too specific, you know, the whole scene: Local Man Writes Own Blog, Local Man Teaches Universal Self-Help Truths.

Pretty soon the local newspapers are on the scene. Eyewitness News is looking for a good, oddball feature story...

It can be too much. Next thing I know my waiting room stuffed to overflowing with visitors.

And I might handle it foolishly, let it go to my head. "I will tear down these waiting rooms and build bigger ones!"

Pretty soon I'm inside sobbing from the stress, the impatient people in the waiting room are rocking the building back and forth.

Or maybe they're happy. And people are wanting to be married there. It's like Woodstock, someone gives birth, names the kid after me.

So I didn't say much to the dentist. I bit my tongue. And at one point she was holding it. I came across too mysterious, too secretive.

She asked a theoretical question about God and the afterlife. I'm thinking over a range of answers, any of which would've sounded pompous.

Wisely, I demurred and acceded to one of the options she gave me, something popular but likely untrue. I'm in a chair with a bib on!

Being "Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough" sometimes means keeping your mouth shut, except when the dentist says to open it.

I don't say everything on my mind, believe it or not.

I'm still not "Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough." It doesn't happen over night, except in those cases when it does.

But conceptually it's a worthy goal for anyone. I just don't really NEED to be right this minute.

Forge Ahead: "Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough"

MORNING:

Personal development doesn't just happen on its own. We forge ahead.

I'll gladly admit it. I'm looking for the advantage. And I know the one who is mindful of these things has it.

I don't want to give up but to press on toward the prize.

Today I'm calling it being "Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough."

Being TAN -- NT means you have a strength and confidence that prevails. (If it doesn't prevail at THIS, it will prevail at THAT.)

I myself am NOT Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough. But I'm working on it, and allowing it to happen at the same time.

I've still got a little bit too much of the Old Creampuff in me, I'm afraid.

But it's all good, in this sense, think of the great things to come.

And not only to come, but the things that manifest themselves along the way, as it is with anyone who puts forth a conscious effort.

It's true, if you put forth the slightest effort in any positive thing you have the advantage over those who don't.

So I (and you) don't have to wait till we're Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough to go that direction.

And we will know all the advantages along the way! It's win-win!

Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough

Be "Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough."

Or tougher than nails. I'm not looking for a fight with nails. But if it comes to a fight with nails I want to be tougher, so we're not just fighting to a standstill.

What makes nails so tough anyway? They have a spine made of pure steel. From the muladhara to the sahasrara, or in laymen terms, from top to bottom (not respectively), they're made of tough stuff. They're tough on the outside and their inner is like their outer. Remember, though, it's all in a manner of speaking.

Plus, they have a point and they have a head, and the two aren't the same. The point is where they take their stand and their head beams proudly from that place. They can be very driven -- in fact that's exactly what we call pounding them in, driving nails.

Nails are tough when they're together. They know there's power in numbers. Take a single nail and drop it on your foot. Didn't feel like much, did it? Now take a box of nails and do the same thing. Hurt, didn't it? You've always got the potential to be tougher than you think you are.

And one other thing, nails are faithful. Once a driven nail is in a board, holding something together, it will be faithful till you're dead. You'll come back 75 years later and it'll still be holding its own. It will not leave its post. It's toughness will not flag.

Friends, modesty prevents me from claiming to be Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough. Also truth prevents me from claiming that. Because (and I've poll tested this, that my readership says they appreciate vulnerability), in actual fact I am not Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough. But I'm working on it.

How am I working on it? Not by working out, let me say. I work out in a very mild way, although I need to kick it in gear so I don't suddenly get heart attacks. But I'm not talking about being physically tough as nails. If you come to my house in 75 years, I will be long dead. But the nails might still be there. I'm talking about being mentally, spiritually, psychically Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough.

It's a process that I'm in, mixed in with all the other ways I'm terming this personal development. It's self-help in the sense that I need the help, and I know I'm not going to get it anywhere but from within. Reading a book may give me pointers, but the the reality is always going to be inside me or it's not going to get done. And the same for you.

There are lots of situations that we're in where it pays to be Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough. Like with your employer, your family, politics, or religion. It pays because there are times where you either nail or get nailed. Sports would be another one. If you're a gymnast, that's exactly what they say, "She nailed it!"

Take sports. It's not just muscles, it's strategy, it's mental. To know the strategy in a flash involves study and it involves intuition. So on the field you've got it, and perhaps more importantly, off the field you've got it. You can visualize exactly how it's going to go, a glimpse here or there, then suddenly you've got the whole picture.

When I step into a situation there are a few things that guide me, and, remember, I am not Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough. But I want to be. 1) I do not want to say or do anything that I'm going to regret later. 2) I want to keep a cool head and play the angles. 3) I will not overtly play one side against the other; I will take the path through the middle and let them work on each other. 4) I will seek my advantage, but I will roll with punches, come what may. I've had much and I've had little. I've been happy with much and I've been happy with little.

Being Tough As Nails -- Nail Tough doesn't mean you always get your way. But it's a thing of percentages. To the one who is TAN -- NT there is the strategizing (not always something that has to be consciously done) and there is the confidence. The confidence remains confidence whether you got your way in the situation or not.

Look at being TAN -- NT in this way: There are so many people who have no idea of it. There are so many people who aren't trying it in the least. The one who has the idea and puts forth the slightest effort automatically has the advantage.