Friday, August 24, 2012

Pepper Comes With Instructions

Pepper comes with instructions. And this is something we can be glad for. It saves us having to rely on endless past experience, which takes a lot of mental power to keep straight. It makes things a lot clearer and thereby much easier when dining, so we're no longer plagued by constant mistakes.

Even now I'm reviewing the instructions, because you never know, the next time I eat could be any minute. I've pretty much worked myself up to three basic meals a day, so the next one is probably sooner than you think. I get this kind of inner signal, a kind of gnawing, that tells me, in words to this effect, that I'm hungry. And when those times come, I don't want to be left high and dry without knowing what to do.

So, let's see: "Use to flavor meat, eggs, potatoes, or vegetables." That seems easy enough to grasp, especially if I read it a few times. Pepper has something to do with flavoring. Meat, eggs, potatoes, or vegetables. I wonder what that or is in there for. You see, right there I've been doing it wrong all these years, since, if memory serves, I believe I've been using it on meat, eggs, potatoes, and vegetables.

I'm hoping I don't make any other mistakes. Meat, eggs, potatoes, or vegetables. And I've glanced ahead and can see that salads and cottage cheese will also be mentioned. I wonder what macaroni and cheese is, because, honestly, I've been putting pepper on it for years. It's not exactly meat, of course. Or potatoes. It's pasta, right? Which I think they use eggs to make. And if cottage cheese takes pepper, probably regular old cheese could too. I'm good at loopholes...

Something to notice here, since we've already looked ahead at the salads and cottage cheese, is that it says to "Sprinkle on" those things. But for meat, eggs, potatoes, or vegetables, it only says to "Use." Now I'm at something of a loss. If sprinkling is the explicit instruction for salads and cottage cheese, and thereby presumably excluded for the other four foods, what's the best way to apply it? Dashing? Dumping? Shaking? I really don't know what to do with this. Because just saying "Use" is not entirely helpful.

Still, all in all, it's better to have the guidance they've given than to complain too vociferously for the things that are either left out or are ambiguous. And I shouldn't say too much, because maybe they have a fuller set of instructions on their website. I haven't looked yet, and I don't know if I will. I'm afraid I might find out I've been doing things seriously wrong all my life. And the way I am, along with my age, old habits are hard to break.

I will start with these instructions and see how it goes, proceeding as carefully as I can. Then when I'm sure I've gotten them down pat, completely mastered, maybe I'll venture to their website and see what else I might be able to add to my dining repertoire. I want to get it right.

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