Monday, September 1, 2008

Buckets of Urine

Link: Large amounts of urine, including three to five gallon buckets of urine

This was one of the things listed that protesters of the Republican convention had stockpiled. I believe this particular cache of urine was found at just one site and so would not necessarily be the totality of urine on hand for the various protests.

It's an interesting thing to me, as are most bathroom subjects. You've got what? a bunch of folks peeing in buckets and keeping it all in reserve apparently for some nefarious purpose. Which, letting the mind wander, might include: Squirting it at people in squirt guns, like those big Pump Master water guns; dumping it over someone's head, much like you would a coach with Gatorade; or, spiking the punch at a fancy soiree.

But then the police show up, and they're going through your things: PVC pipe, chicken wire, high powered wrist rockets (never heard of that before), machetes, bolt cutters, hatchets, axes, rapelling equipment, etc. Nothing there much, really, that you wouldn't find at any garage sale. But then they come to these buckets of urine, three to five gallons worth, and you as the protester start to get nervous. "Uh, officer, you've heard of urine samples? My doctor wanted one, and I'm very obsessive, can never do anything halfway. I guess I went a little overboard."

I know how that goes about not doing things halfway. There was a show on TV one time about a guy who obsessively collects golf clubs. Buys every one he sees. So anytime I go to Goodwill and see a few golf clubs I tell myself that guy hasn't been here yet. I do a little of that, not with golf clubs, but some other things. The key to getting over it is to turn your obsession over to your consciousness, which means examining every nuance of your life obsessively, giving your lusts no quarter; the downside is your mind is afire with self doubt, reproach, and loathing; the upside is if you're really good at it you can save a little money.

But when it comes to something like urine, to me that's disgusting; just get rid of it. You may be very PO'ed, but you don't have to show it in such a literal way.

You could come up with another term for insane outbreaks. You're heard of "Going Postal," this is "Going Pistol." The police like to have their fun, "Urine a lot of trouble, buddy." If they're charged with anything, I hope they can find a fair jury of their pee'ers.

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