Monday, April 20, 2009

Next: Maybe A Yearly Hiatus

I'm always thinking, What comes next? I know that's a nasty way of thinking, since it takes away the joy of this moment, the whole satisfaction there is in savoring what you have. Who hasn't thought of how nice it might be to just put off tomorrow till it gets here? Or next year?

You see it when you watch the World Series or the Super Bowl. The winner isn't off the field yet before the announcers are wondering if they'll be able to repeat next year because three or four star players will be gone. It makes you want to scream, Let them enjoy it for five minutes, always popping everyone's bubble like that. But our brain seems to be designed just like the dog's. A dog can't savor its food; it just wolfs it down as soon as possible, because somewhere in its mind it knows another dog will get it.

(If I'm saying a dog "wolfs" down its food, shouldn't I just use the wolf as my example? And anyway, the plural of wolf being wolves, it seems like the same rationale would apply to the word used as a verb, making it, "A dog wolves down its food." Seems like it, but you only hear it the other way. I saw the opposite of wolving one time. I gave a pork chop to a dog who must have thought he was civilized. He sat there looking at it in his bowl, then looked up at me like he wanted me to leave before he did the nasty business of wolving it down. I never saw a dog hesitate with food like that before or since. Well, in a flash, a cat darted out from the bushes, grabbed the chop and disappeared around the garage. The dog looked at me like, Whot hopponed? I hadn't cooked the pork chop for him, of course, but since he was so sad about "That Darn Cat," I went and fixed him another one. I like my current dog's style of eating more. She wolves down the food in midair and the bowl is still clean. She vents a tiny burp and that's the meal.)

So the question, if put to me, of What Comes Next? about the hiatus I'm taking from this blog, is not a welcome question. Please, let me enjoy the time off, at least five minutes. Because I don't really know what comes next. It could be -- if I ever start enjoying myself -- who knows? -- I might take a yearly hiatus. Or maybe I won't come back at all. I could do the whole Enoch thing, go for a walk and just never come back. Or maybe I will be back. I didn't start this hiatus with the thought of permanent retirement. But I might permanently retire. We just don't know.

Remember, Johnny Carson took 15-20 weeks of vacation every year. Then he permanently retired and immediately died. So, let that be a lesson to you. You might see me back here. Or maybe you won't.

UPDATE: It might be critical that I come back. I checked around and I can't find any other story like this one about The Dog, The Cat, and The Pork Chop. None of our national blogs seem to have one. It's just the lowly "Local Man" who's able to recall such an incident. That story is now preserved, but who knows how many more great stories might slip through the cracks? This will give me something serious to think about as I consider how long my hiatus will last or whether I will go permanently into retirement.

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