Saturday, June 13, 2015

Newsletter -- Subscriptions Open

These are the times that thrill men's souls. When a brand new newsletter rolls out of the printer and is available to the general public. To be read. Shared. Treasured.

It's been months in the planning, my own newsletter, and now it's finally here. Along with my staff -- four men and a lady -- I've been hard at work, as boss and editor-in-chief, collecting news and views to be published. I can't wait to see the first issue, then sit back and read it myself, and do as the great editors of the past did, get printer's ink on my fingers.

Staff? Yes, I said staff. I was given the opportunity, at minimal expense, for a few work release prisoners from the farm to help with the project. You see Dashing Danny Whfrf above. He's quite the little newsman! Very interested in newsletter production, plus his hobby of sharpening the cutest little dirks.

A lot of what I'm doing here is untested and unknown, such as what demand I'm going to have for subscriptions. So I'm parceling out access numbers quite sparingly. If you see an access number in the graphic, you're one of the lucky ones. If it's blank, I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait.

You can imagine, though, the joy of those who have an access code. I know if I were sitting where you're sitting, and say I didn't have a code, I'd have mixed feelings, probably a combination of anger and jealousy. But I would look on the bright side; this is a God-given chance to work on the negativity in your life, and overcome the instinct to lash out.

Which will only be more difficult when you realize what all you're missing. Content you can't get anywhere else. I'm keeping it exclusive to the newsletter. But I don't mind hinting around about some of it. I have a nature/electronics article, kind of a rant, about planning for the 17-year cicadas in 2032. Briefly, I don't see why I can't put a reminder on my iPhone for May 2032, so when the time comes I don't forget. I tried. They don't let you...

Then there's a nice piece on me as a 79-year-old in 2032, greeting my little nature friends. I've had such a wonderful time with cicadas this year. Their drone/mantra would be enough, were it not for those pesky mosquitoes, to carry me into complete chakra ecstasy. Seriously, I'd be naked on a shimmering pillow in the sahasrara right now drinking amrita, if not for mosquitoes. 

For the guys among my readers, I'm also sharing some of my intimate fantasies about Hannah and her horse. We're on a beautiful island, the sea is a gorgeous blue, it's a complete paradise. The sand's white, the weather's beautiful. We have a pet goat and of course her horse. I've done everything I can to make a nice shelter for us, a tiny kitchen area, a tiny dining area, and a tiny living room area, leaving room for a spacious bedroom. The only thing we're not concerned with, not in the slightest, is DirectTV.

Look for your access code. I don't want anyone to miss out. If it doesn't appear, refresh your browser a few times. If that doesn't work, I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. I suppose you could reboot your computer, which sometimes helps but not usually.

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