Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Traffic Light Lord

It recently came to my attention, thanks to a newspaper article, that in my town there are cameras at the traffic lights, with guys watching them at headquarters. They said they've seen some really wild stuff going on. So now all I can think of at intersections is this. Of course I'm making sure I'm driving right. But also that every hair's in place, and I turn so they'll get my good side.

I'd like to see the operation, if they had an open house. Are they good cameras, or are they like what robbed convenience stores always have, black and white, very grainy, and impossible to detect individual differences in human forms? They might be very precise, very clear, able to read license plates, and see if a guy is turning his good side.

If I could do this job, it'd be fun. With the remote control, I'd make the red lights come on for Hummers and other gas guzzlers, and folks who looked ostentatious or simply annoying. Like cars with crazy big hubcaps, cars playing loud music, etc. But for the poor and humble, for the average guy, it'd be green lights all the way. Or if I saw the Birdseye guy in the old truck, from the commercial, taking veggies to market, he'd get the green light, too.

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