I had to go out today and fling another mouse to the road. I'm usually thinking, Brr, the morning's cold even when it's a nice day. Get it over with. But today I had my jacket on and was carrying him by the tail, and got out there, and suddenly I felt a special peace with the world. It was a beautiful thing. So I quickly tossed the mouse and decided to stay out and enjoy it.
There's a place midway between the house and one of the corner posts (the half acre is T shaped, so it'd be the center of the T if you moved the up and down piece of the T to the left a little bit). If you got that, I would've been midway between the house and junction in the T, which, by the way, is not strictly proportional to the actual half acre. (I should have been a surveyor. I'm describing what we call the half acre, the non-yard portion of the property. There is the yard with the house, so if you included that it'd be more like an upside down L).
I was at this place midway there -- you have it in mind -- looking east, and I beheld the most beautiful sunrise. It gave me a very simple feeling, hard to describe. If you ever see the simple styles of clothing, the colors, the hair, and the stances of the people in old photos from 1972, it was that feeling. The feeling that you get when you see a Peter Max sunrise, if he ever painted one. You know that the totality of the piece is right before you, speaking of something metaphysical yet simple enough to grasp quickly and thoroughly with your instincts. I wish I had a camera, because I could've gotten some good shots. The shining, the glinting, the sun was smiling on me.
That's a great feeling, to know the sun is smiling on you. I don't get that very often, but when I do it's intense. I wonder how the sun even notices me. I believe it has some kind of GPS thing it looks at and can focus in on you like that. Ha ha. I'm definitely taking it as heaven's blessing on my present course, the hiatus I'm taking. Sometimes I second guess myself, but today was not one of those times. Today started off with an unpleasant task, to dispose of another foul rodent. But thanks to that mouse's timing, to die precisely this morning when I needed it most, it led me to behold this heavenly vista in such a way that I was affirmed. I felt alive, happy, and free.
I stood there for a while soaking it in. Then I was thinking, I could run and get the camera. I could look at the picture all day and think back, Too bad it's over with. But at least there's a picture of it. But as it turned out, it turned out not to be. No picture. Just my memory. A big old memory stew up there, all mixed in with every other memory, some good, some bad.