Our Ladies Aid

No. 18 of 31 - Thermometer series

What a privilege today for me to lift up our Ladies Aid. Each one of the gals, none of whom I frankly know very well, is a vital part of the effort. You might say, 'But being a people person, how can you not know them very well?' Simple, there are boundaries I need to respect, because by making even one of the guys mad, let alone a bunch of them, our great cause would disintegrate into a pile of dust as we speak. We must not allow that to happen.

Our goal isn't cozying up to anyone, but it's simply "Sure and steady as she goes," carrying through the effort of getting more readers (commitments for the blog). The guys of the Men’s division are a large part of that. With the Ladies Aid the next biggest part. It’s not discrimination. It’s not second class status for one part. It’s simple relationship physics, not getting caught with my finger in the pie, avoiding every flagrant power move and making a shambles of the whole scene. Fun as that may be.

O! Sometimes I wish I could see the end from the beginning, because it can be maddening. But that’s the way it is. Like buying groceries. You show up at the store, you have no idea what you might need. You know you will enter the door, you know you will eventually leave. The main concern is what goes on inside the store. The last thing you want is for someone to take items out of your cart. And that’s how it is with the guys. They don’t want their wives messed with in any way. And likewise the wives their husbands. Which I would never do, but people -- especially the guys -- can be extremely suspicious.

Turning now to the Ladies Aid for praise, I’m saying "Hats Off To Them!" I peeked my head in the door a few times and gave them a few words of praise and thumbs up as they went about their tasks. In their hustle and bustle I’ve seen a good spirit of cooperation and even self-sacrifice. Which is great, because things have to be done at every level. If we’re going to be together, we need to remember that. And if any of them are reading this, I am very happy with all you have done so far! Let’s see it through to the end...

Ladies, let’s focus on the goal, while giving/receiving praise where praise is warranted. First, the work is important. As we guys sweat it out, working on our strategies for the blog, having a few drinks, bantering back and forth over readership drives, considering the possibility of a rewards system, compiling statistics, and having a few more drinks, it gets very confusing, but it’s also exhilarating. Because you always have to keep the end goal in mind. Maybe it’s fuzzy, and often it is, depending on how much we've drunk. I have to keep reminding myself what’s going on. There’s so many people, it’s hard to tell one from another.

Yet, I’m honored to feel a special pride as well. Because I know each one of is doing his or her part. Laundry’s only one part of it of course. But very important. Because when I’m stressed -- and I'm usually very stressed -- I sweat through my clothes in minutes, from my cap to my unders. True! I wear my feelings on my sleeve in that sense. And we’re up against deadlines all the time and I’m forever sweating it out. So the laundry isn’t just a thing I’ve instituted to keep people busy. They aren't just doing busy work; it’s all vital, it's all important. I've said it many times, patting them on the back, God bless our great Ladies Aid!

Enter The Tractor Promenade

 

THE GOLDEN CHILD - #11

When the history of this battle is written, let the word go forth, to friend and foe alike, that like Frank Sinatra, win or lose, I did it my way!

A number of years ago I was in the company of some folks who were excited to go see the Tractor Promenade, square-dancing tractors. The guys who drove the tractors were all men, but because square-dancing is generally done by men and women, half of these guys were dressed as women. Not in a pretty way, lest anyone think they shouldn't be allowed to use the restroom, but in an exaggerated way. Big thick wigs, floppy dresses, and beards were part of it.

I wasn't excited about it right away. I mean, look at me, I'm a cool cat; I can't be impressed by the ways of country folk and their laughs, can I? Well, you know what? I'm not really as cool as everyone thinks. Most of my YouTube history reveals I watch a lot of "Hee Haw" clips. (For some reason there aren't full episodes of "Hee Haw" out there, that I've seen.) I like Grandpa Jones, Buck Owens, Roy Clark. Once I hitchhiked nearly 250 miles to see Roy Clark perform, then when I got there, I can't remember what happened, but I never saw Roy Clark. I'm full of stories like that, because I'm not cool.

The charms of square-dancing tractors got to me, to the point that I became a Tractor Head and followed them around. And when I'd see the guys, I'd often make eye contact with them as they performed, a tear in my eye and tapping my heart, as if to say, "You're in my heart, I'm misty, keep that dress and wig on, and shave that beard, and we might get it on." I've been very lucky in life, but, alas, it never happened. I had to turn and walk away, solitary, in tears, clutching my program, and hoping to escape the place without someone laughing at my failure.

Regardless of all personal heartbreak, and especially now that I'm older and losing a lot of my ambition to succeed -- because What's the Damned Use? -- like the Virgin Mary, I've treasured the things of the Promenade and kept them in my heart. I became friends with one of the guys, who now is my contact in this present distress. Putting a end to the terror wave of one Myra Kula Electra!

Friends, she's going down! When she catches sight of the Tractor Promenade, it is going to be so confusing to her. Tractors square-dancing! If what I'm thinking is right. That demons have the kind of mentality that expects a certain amount of order in the world. I believe their mentality is very orderly, despite their reputation for chaos, and very literal. Demons think A leads to B, in a direct line. A doesn't lead to C, you see, because demons are hung up on directness. Tractor square-dancing is antithetical to linear thinking; they'd freak out. Remember the multitude of demons Jesus sent into the herd of swine? They didn't say, "Let's bide our time on this hillside till Jesus is gone, then come out and go about our business." They freaked out directly, ran into the sea, and presumably got wet.

But enough about demons. Get me started like that and I'll talk your leg off. I'm not bragging, but I probably know more about demon psychology than most people my age and of average intelligence. Demons are basically stupid, they just have bullish dispositions, but in a few years they might be president. Say we had someone set the example for them, it could happen. I'd gladly vote Demons for President, because I could cast them out anytime I wanted!

Let me add one more important thing. Myra, I know you read this blog. In the name of everything holy, after you read this post, you must promptly forget it. Thank you.