We the People ... are sick of all the King Georges of the world, which is our July 4th term for the major industrial powers.
So, by the power vested in me by divine right, along with my fellow subjects (or citizens), we make a necessary explanation of our revolt, the best we can do off the top of my head this early in the morning. That's only fitting, we believe, just so we can set the record straight and hopefully divert as much incoming fire as we can as well as guff.
As is known by the various states -- past, present, and future -- we have suffered grievous afflictions aplenty from the oppressive hand of the major industrial powers, all the King Georges of the world.
They have polluted our towns and communities. They have exploited our people. They have claimed real estate and zoning privileges by both hook and crook. They have the legal system in their back pocket through corruption at all the many echelons. In short, it's a mess.
This we have endured long enough, and we have been left very little choice about what to do about it. Therefore, in deliberate assembly, and looking to a future with brighter horizons, ourselves being made of sterner stuff, we have declared and shall again declare our independence today and henceforth from these King Georges, the major industrial powers.
What we shall raise up in their place is industry as was intended by our Creator, along with the inalienable rights and appurtenances pertaining thereunto, world without end, in flagrante delicto. To wit, residential industries, owned and governed by every man after his personal choice.
Each man shall possess and perpetuate the several industrial arts according to his own lights and those bestowed upon him as a free entity. There will be no more "them's the breaks" from the entrenched industrial powers. In the stead of this, they will be brought down, and must be brought down into the dust, and/or hanged by their several necks until they are finally, utterly, and severally dead.
By our own hands we have affixed our several signatures, knowing that our fates are in the hands of fate and an all-seeing benevolent God, having one eye and being perched at the crowning block of a mighty pyramid.
(Hundreds of other signatures have been redacted, perhaps thousands.)