In the spirit of the last chapters of Genesis, wherein the children's fortunes are made known, I give you the cursing father.
He has 12 children, and there on his deathbed gives them his final words, words of a curse for each one.
Nancy, I condemn you to a life of drudgery.
Marie, may you never know the love of a good man.
Tim, it's my hope that the world always beats you down.
Rufus, I see nothing but misfortune and poverty for you.
Jane, you have been a pain in my side, may you be repaid in kind.
Appleton, you will drive race cars and will wreck them all.
Fajita, you will bow down and serve others, who will despise you.
Winchell, no good will come out of any of your efforts.
Morgan, you are doomed to never bettering yourself, so give up now.
Stanley, the failures of your life have just started.
Stubs, strive though you may, it will never do you any good.
Polly, from first to last, your whole life will be a mess.