Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Local Man Catches His Own Worms

My identity is that of the local man. It's an ideal position without being snooty. Let's hear it for the local man.

I'm a plainclothes man.
I'm a man of the people.
I don't live up in the rarified regions.
The ordinary side of town is preferable to me.
I don't put on airs.
I've got a penchant for woolens.
I prefer the lower land, where pure water flows.
I keep my feet firmly grounded on mother earth.
To me, humility is a virtue, tooting your own horn a vice.
I catch my own worms and release any that happen to make it back alive.
I take home unused jelly packets and napkins because I'm frugal and resourceful.
I read the 'Pluggers' comic panel and fail to see the humor in it.
I despise the Republican party and wish it'd go to hell.
I call high prices what they are, a rook.
My favorite philosopher is Lao Tzu or Chuang Tzu, and I've already killed a thousand Buddhas.
I put my bed in storage to promote morality.
When you get me mad, that's when the fur flies.
My physiognomy is average.
People who see me go about their normal business.
I've never been able to shoot a crow.
I get winded easily.
I know the lesson of the tortoise and the hare.
I keep the old fashioned values readily at hand.
No one has to tell me which way the wind blows.
My sense of direction is usually reliable.
I keep an eye out for bad influences.
No matter what urban renewal does to Skidrow, it's still Skidrow to me.
I'd rather not try anything for the first time.
I have my eye out for a logical conclusion.

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