Crime Meets Group Dynamics

I read the crime news on a daily basis. I've always been fascinated how people "put themselves out there" to be criminals, despite the enormous risks they take for what so often is a relatively small reward. Is it really worth it, for example, even if you got $50,000 in a bank robbery, if there's a good chance you'll spend 10 years in prison? Even without a partner that's only $5,000 a year, and with a partner it drops. You could've gotten a paper route and made that much, with freedom to boot.

"Me?" the idiot argues, "I'd never get caught!" Oh yeah, it's foolproof! When there's video cameras everywhere, and they know which direction you came from and which direction you went before you left. They're not amateurs, they've done this before. Ever heard of radioing ahead? So there you are, at the end of a lonely dirt road, nothing in front of you but a raging river, and the cops closing in like mad. You decide to take your first and last look at the loot, which promptly blows up in your face with red dye. As one bank robber I read about said, "I just went home and waited to be arrested."

As for the life of crime, throw in a partner -- or several partners, a whole gang -- and naturally it's worse, because you have to depend on the nebulous code of 'Honor Among Thieves' holding up. Codes and honor are only as good as the people involved. If you're hanging out with pure scum, the scum of the earth, what kind of honor and code should you expect? I wouldn't risk it for less than minimum wage, certainly with the prospects of prison, getting to look at a big shower room and a wall of toilets with no doors. Then there's the barbed wire outside. The birds are flying overhead, and you've got five minutes till lock down.

Still, we're talking about humanity, right? That's the species we're thinking of, right? Well, like it or not, I'm ultimately not prejudiced when it comes to people and their need for good group dynamics counseling. After all, I've always seen a basic understanding of group dynamics as everyone's right, maybe even more so than food or air. Because what good are food and air if you can't survive your peers? You step into a crowded cell and say the wrong thing, "I'll take the bottom bunk," having no understanding, and, SLIT, you're a dead man. So criminals deserve at least this much, the basics.

Now, since you probably haven't got much time to live -- let's assume the worst -- I will keep it very basic. We'll put the "3 R's of Group Dynamics" out there as they relate to a gang of criminals. (I'm actually the originator of the "3 R's," which is in most textbooks on group dynamics, so I know what I'm talking about.)

OK, take a look at the above illustration. Looks very much like a free-for-all, a melee. I see a gun waving in the air and another guy with both arms up, frantic. Someone else has apparently struck the guy with the gun. And there's someone crashed on the floor against the wall. The scene captures a terrible moment. Which probably could have been prevented, in part if not entirely, with some knowledge of group dynamics. Let's say you're the gang leader. This isn't what you wanted!

How could a knowledge of the "3 R's" have made for a better situation? The "3 R's" are 1) aRrange, 2) Reconnoiter, and, 3) Ruminate.

A good "aRrangement," before anyone showed up, might have included some comfortable chairs. You as the leader, then, are going to elicit more support and loyalty from your underlings if you keep everything very even, such as matching chairs, not a bigger one for you or anyone else. Good lighting is critical, too, especially among criminals, not too low, not too bright. Also, you don't want a lot of shadows, which only serve to raise people's suspicions, leading to paranoia, leading to an eruption. Shadows are where things are hidden. And anything else you can do to establish a good comfort level, while also looking out for people's feelings, is a key part of "aRanging." Are there pitchers of cold water handy? Thoughtful aRanging is always the basis of a good meeting.

The 2nd "R," Reconnoitering, means your job isn't done with aRanging. Far from it. Reconnoitering means paying close attention to the group's needs as your time together progresses. With the criminal type, you will want to hone in on any change in the dynamics. Are they as comfortable 20 minutes into the meeting as they were at the beginning? Are you seeing any strange twitching, reaching inside coat pockets, hands hidden, sweaty brows? Are you hearing any heavy breathing, any muffled clicks of gun hammers? Reconnoitering will catch all that, without, and this is critical, without making it obvious what you're doing. At the first sign of trouble, instead of reacting directly to the threat, you should redirect simply, perhaps by freshening people's drinks. Give them a chance to stretch. Look for the least comfortable guy and compliment him for something, how you've always admired his skill set with munitions, or whatever it might be.

By the way, the word "Reconnoitering" literally means "knowing again." You're not leaving things to chance, you're knowing things again and again, you're keeping your awareness alert, and when you do, you'll find that you generally live to see tomorrow. No mad escape by diving through the window for you!

The 3rd "R", Ruminating, is one I often use in groups as a kind of post-meeting diagnostic tool. What could I have done differently? How could it have gone more smoothly? But Ruminating is also key to a meeting in progress, which can either loop back to further aRranging or further Reconnoitering. That's certainly how I would primarily use it in a meeting of criminals! In such a group, I'm not leaving anything for later; I'll handle it now, or sooner. Later may never come! For survival purposes, and also to ensure the gang's integrity as a gang, that it not erupt into a melee, you will Ruminate often. If someone is acting up in any way, use Rumination toward further aRranging. But once behavior is on track, use it toward further Reconnoitering.

Using these pointers, the basics of group dynamics, you will have more confidence to conduct your meeting in a successful way. Even with a gang of criminals! Then, and this of course is the ultimate reward, depending on what you as a group decide, which job to do -- a big robbery or rubbing someone out -- it's more likely to be a great success. I wish you all the best.

My Plot To Rob 50 Banks At Once

Oh boy, this is going to be big money for me and the Organization! Hi, Machine Gun Ricky Wayward here, crime boss of the Skids gang...

There's no stopping crime, thank God. We just keep going, ever going, ever accruing more, greater and greater wealth. Diamonds, jewels, truckload after truckload of stolen merchandise, and, of course, cash, anything we can lay our hands on. It's all so satisfying! Which we will continue doing as long as we get away with it, which at this point might be forever...

My latest plot involves banks. In particular -- and no one's ever done this before -- I'm going to use peer pressure to raid a number of banks and, I hope, make off with everything they've got. It took some doing to conceive of this plot, and it's going to take some doing to carry it through. Wish me luck, OK?

I started thinking, What bank job has never been done before? What's the perfect bank job? Then it came to me, pick on the rural, backward banks. Not just a hold up. That's been done to death. No, I thought of something deeper, something that involves questioning their self-image, then taking advantage of them to wipe them out.

It seems that these particular banks have not updated their basic facilities in over a century. Meaning, you guessed it, they're dealing with some serious inferiority complex issues. An underlying issue with each of them is the realization that they're backward and behind the times. Because each of them has at least one bank officer -- if not the president himself -- who has visited the big city. They understand what's going on out there.

Now, what do you think is the most obvious, biggest backward thing about them? If you said "round vaults," you are exactly right. Nearly every rural bank, believe it or not, has a round vault, which, inexplicably, was all the rage in the 1890s. Times, however, have changed. And now the rest of us can't imagine anything more ridiculous than a round vault. 1) They're ugly; 2) They're old fashioned; 3) They're space-inefficient; 4) You always hit your head on the sides, and, 5) I've personally never trusted the mechanisms in round vaults, which may be more an irrational prejudice on my part than a real objective problem.

Anyway, here's where my expertise in human environmental science and psychology comes into play. I submit, I put it forth as a virtual given, that if someone goes in and so much as chuckles at their round vault, they'll be ready to do something about it, anything, to make you stop. Just like that, you'll have a contract to take it out and install a square or rectangular one. And that's where we get 'em!

I called in my team of crack underlings and put my plan before them. What if, instead of just one bank, we take on 50 of these rural banks at once? Of course it would take logistics on the most massive scale. No one's ever robbed 50 banks simultaneously. We'll be the first. We'll be the greatest bank robbers of all time. And we'll be rolling in money, perhaps more money than can physically be spent, short of being a governmental entity looking for hammers and toilet seats.

Fleshing out the plan, I typed a list of common numbers into the computer, "1 through 50," then started filling in the blanks, listing every bank within a 100-mile radius that has a round vault. Where do you find this information, you ask? Admittedly, it's old, but I still have a copy of the 1943 U.S. Almanac of Bank Vaults, that of course being the last year the Almanac was released to the general public. Then, just to be safe, I added another 10 numbers to the list, because possibly a few of the prouder banks have updated since '42. (The '43 Almanac came out in October 1942.)

With every background detail fully explained, the underlings nodded, hit a few high fives around the room, and grinned. One overzealous asshole even shot a hole in the ceiling, prompting an angry admonition from me: "Put that gun away, you raving lunatic! What kind of moron..." As that unpleasant moment passed, I called them in closer, much closer, saying, "Here's how we'll do it," at which point I muttered the rest, and in some detail, so only they would be able to hear.