George & Abe -- That's Presidents' Day

SINGING THEIR PRAISES

Today, I'm overlooking the whole Illuminati nexus thing with Washington and Lincoln and the shady dealings that elevated them to the presidency. Whatever secret information I may have intuited about them having to do with the Mysteries of Weird, I'm setting it aside. That's my serious face, this is my happy face, as I join the rest of the world in just blithely accepting the surface report of their service. Hurray for me! For one day, pyramids don't have eyeballs! The Illuminati aren't secretly symbolized in the American Eagle. I'm so happy! It'll be fun to see only what the other half sees!

I have to confess, though, I don't really know a tremendous amount of stuff about Washington and Lincoln. I was sick the day they covered them in school. But let me hasten to add that what I do know, I like. What's there not to like? These men brought us through whatever challenges there were at the time, and now we're fine. And they personally inspired me. So, everything I've managed to learn about them, while far from expert status, is something I feel I've done a good job retaining. We're always our worst critic -- as the old saw goes -- so I'd give myself only a weak A minus, perhaps dropping it to a strong B+ if I wasn't so generous. The other half of being your own worst critic is being the most generous forgiving your faults.

I'll go first with the main things I remember about George Washington. My earliest memories, looking through the haze, show a cherry tree, and him as a boy cutting it down. His father asked him about it, he said the Illuminati did it, and everyone lived happily ever after. Some time later, he crossed the Delaware, arriving safely on the other side. He was dentally challenged, being born with wooden teeth. One night he made a wish to be on the dollar bill, and woke up and it was so! I find that very puzzling; I couldn't wish myself out of an imaginary paper bag.

Next is Honest Abe, and what I remember about him, first, he was honest. He read by the fireplace, was a smart kid, then a smart man, split rails by day, and hairs by night, in debates. A little girl asked him to grow a beard, which he did, thankful she didn't ask him to wear pink panties and play with dolls. Later, with his beard, he led one side in the Civil War, annihilating the other. Finally, he survived all that just to be killed.

You can't get better than these guys. That much is certain. Still, though, understandably, we seek men for the office who at least aspire to be as good, if not better. That much has already been proven, as other men have held the same office. Each in his own way tried to emulate his forebears -- Washington and Lincoln -- and yet, however good they were, each fell way short of the mark. Except for Obama, who, like Lincoln, started with a team of rivals and only got more.


FUN FACTS ABOUT WASHINGTON AND LINCOLN:
(Kids, share these with your teacher for a sure A)

Neither ever jump-started a car, positive to positive, negative to grounded metal part, then disconnecting the cables in the reverse order. Too complicated.
Neither had any favorite records, always having to hear music live, or perhaps on a music box. In fact, most of the technological stuff we take for granted, they didn't.
Neither ever used a telephone, not the crank model, the dial phone, a telephone booth, or a cell phone. They had lots of time on their hands.
Both could speak English, no big deal.
Both had wives and lost their virginity at some point.
Both had a carbon footprint, but never as big and bad as ours.


DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WASHINGTON AND LINCOLN:

Washington never had to face a camera, Lincoln did. Washington faced painters, who quit before they got done. Lincoln's cameras achieved their goals.
Lincoln was born the same year as Edgar Allan Poe, Washington wasn't.
Washington died before the 1800s, Lincoln didn't live to see the 1700s.
There simply aren't many other differences between them. Both men were very similar to the other. What Lincoln lacked, Washington made up, and vice versa.

February -- The Mysteries of Weird

Don't you think it's amazing -- showing what a gracious guy I am -- that I celebrated Valentine's Day yesterday without once mentioning my grievances against the month of February? I think that's pretty good, and I'm assigning one gold star for myself. I told myself I'd let February pass for one day, then the next day lay into it again. (I'm trying to destroy February as a month.)

Speaking of Valentine's Day, and I'm going to add President's Day to the mix, it's hard for me to believe that a short, shrimpy, nothing-little-month like February somehow wrangled these two important franchises. I would seriously think these would be observed at a more distinguished time, like March. Except for Spring, March doesn't have many holidays.

But President's Day works like this: Abraham Lincoln was born on February 12. We used to celebrate his birth, a great president who worked like a dog to overcome the February curse. And George Washington was born twice in February! Seriously, check out his Wiki page. First, under the Old Style of the calendar he was born Feb. 11, 1731. Then over a year later he was born on Feb. 22, 1732! Unlike his fellow president, Lincoln, Washington had twice as much to overcome. But he made a vow -- deemed foolish at the time -- that he would be the first president of the United States, then he made it happen. Inspiring.

Or was it? Did either of these men actually become president in any honest way, or was it all someone behind the scenes, knowing how history would work out, pulling the strings to make it happen? I would suggest that the evidence is suggestive, suggesting some shenanigans. Really, what's the chances that Washington and Lincoln, two of our greatest presidents, should come along and actually be elected? What I'm really saying is that both men were probably involved with the Illuminati, who somehow have control of the strings of time and fate. The implication is they became involved with the Illuminati, but resisted and were briefly found to be unworthy. But when they ingratiated themselves again with the Illuminati, they had to settle for President's Day being in February. Making two strikes against Lincoln and three against Washington.

The two men then conferred, Washington saying, "The average people think of February as any other month." Lincoln agreed. And so, ever since, presidents have generally escaped the full berating for their many failings. This whole arrangement took the heat off future presidents, who could now say, "Yeah, but Washington and Lincoln were both born in February." Speaking of scandal. The truth is the Illuminati are always five moves ahead of the people, and the people are always ten moves behind them. There's no sanctity to anything, only evil scandal and no one with the cajones (or brains) to do anything about it.

I've been looking at this for a number of years. In those years I've said many times, more times than I can count in hindsight, "The Illuminati wouldn't be the Illuminati if they weren't doing Illuminati-type of things. This is just one more thing in their despicable in-your-face dealings. Their motto is, quite frankly, 'Take it or leave it.'" When you find you're over a barrel, that's the Illuminati. When you're painted in the corner, that the Illuminati. When you're all twisted up inside, with a fever and heartburn, that could be anything. But everything else is the Illuminati.

I need to study the Illuminati more, because they're tied in with February, as already illustrated. Still, I'd like to get to the bottom of their mumbo jumbo and find out what makes them tick. It's gotta be something, to keep them in business century after century, yanking everyone's chain, even power players like Washington and Lincoln. As I understand it, they're the ones we have to thank for eyeballs on pyramids (as seen on the dollar bill), the Washington Monument as a national phallic idol, and Betsy Ross' original circular arrangement of stars on the flag. They're big into circles, on the flag -- liking non-linearity -- and their work probably includes crop circles.

Time forbids me to list their many invasions into everyday life. I call it, however, "THE MYSTERIES OF WEIRD," taking the word "WEIRD" as a kind of proclamation that they are God. Such as "WE (that is to say I) R Deity. Toys R Us? No, We R God! Weird. Certainly they've been around long enough, we may as well call them eternal, so maybe they're right.

Where's All The Trash Compactors?

SUPER CHEAP TRASH COMPACTORS FOR ALL!

Friends, I have a trash compactor: My foot scrunching it down to save money on trash bags! I know, I know, very grim humor.

Like everyone, I too looked forward to a bright future of electric trash compactors for everyone. Where your garbage would be smashed down about the size of a grape. We really wanted that "brave new world" of very tiny trash (Alvin Toffler, Aldous Huxley.) Making it a true "future shock" when it didn't happen.

I don't know for sure what happened. I haven't seen an authoritative report on the subject for years. Whether everyone forgot what they promised, or it was found not to be feasible, or there was some other more sinister reason, this is what I don't know. I could let my mind wander ahead of me and conceive what might have happened, but I hate to rouse forces that are too powerful for me once exposed.

For now, I'll just pretend that I think it's a case of forgetting or the idea not being feasible. It's too dangerous to suggest something more sinister, although naturally the mind can barely help spotting a conspiracy. Just like cars that were supposed to have such fuel efficiency we'd only stop at a gas station once a month. Although I can almost see the logic to that conspiracy, since gas stations would never be able to stay in business, then when we needed one once a month, there wouldn't be any.

The fact that we don't all have our own trash compactor might be similar. Who makes the big huge dump trucks that pick up the big huge trash? The car companies, the same industry! They make big money at it. If we all had trash compactors, then any little entrepreneur with a push cart could make a sweep through town and pick it up himself. Then there's all the others with a vest interest in keeping garbage big: garbage bag manufacturers, city workers, tire makers for the trucks, etc. Even recyclers are in on it! Since they want their garbage pristine, many not even accepting flattened cans!

The government itself might be involved. And my opinion on every conspiracy is the same: If the government might be involved, they definitely are. Because these are always the guys with the best access to the strings from which everything else dangles. I myself could serve as a microcosm of what's going on, thinking back to the year I got the marionettes for Christmas. When you haven't got them, you're very content not to play with them; you don't know any different. But when you get them, you can't help playing with them and making them jump. So it is in government.

We all thought things were going to get better when the year 2000 got here, rich and poor alike. A trash compactor for $29 or cheaper! But we all saw how that worked out. The "future" was exactly the same as the "past," a scarcity of trash compactors and no push to do anything about it.

Everything's Coming To A Head

First, let me say I'm thankful for the special honors, the "Already Classic" designation given to my post on the mule, or whatever it was, standing still, standing alone, something. But I can't rest on my gold stamps, no matter how many arrows they have inexplicably piercing them. I must press on!

I have a strange feeling that everything's coming to a head on this whole Grange Sisterhood affair, with the Peruvian queens, princesses, breeding thing, and the killing of young men. And to say I feel it's coming to a head is a major statement, because the roots of this affair apparently go back somewhere between 50-70 years.

It could be coming to a head relatively soon, which in that context could still be years or decades away. I hope it's not decades because I'd like to live to see it come to a head. Let's say it takes decades. I've announced it's coming to a head, which in that case would be meaningless. But whether it comes to a head in the next few weeks or a year from now, that's still pretty soon. I don't see it coming to a head today or this week. It'll surely take longer than that to come to a head.

The thing for me is to be ready, more or less prepared for when it does come to a head. But since I still am not sure what I'm up against, what the parameters of the thing are, to determine when it will come to a head is hard to do. I only know the bare essentials and really not even that. I know there's horses involved. And some strange esoteric lore about mules. And as to the Peruvian queen, I did meet her, or someone posing as her. It seems so complicated I ought to just sit down and figure out where we are.

Is it a mystery? I don't know. Is there another Peruvian queen? I don't know anything about it. Is Grandma in on it? All signs are pointing "No." A lot of people don't get bedsores. I feel kind of stupid, but I do know something's going on. Even if the Grange Sisterhood simply exists to maintain the old ways, they're doing it in a funny way. Wouldn't it be funny if nothing was really going on? But how to explain the horses kicking people to death? And all the Peruvian stuff with Lemuel.

All this somehow touches me. And my best guess is that it appears to be coming to a head.

It's hard for me to believe this simple little house might be the nexus of a rural conspiracy going back 50-70 years. But there has to be something about it, because I'm electrified with anxious anticipation, worrying that everything might come to a head and overwhelm me.

I'm going to cut this short today, because I need time to return to the cellar. I'm starting to think the "Sex and the Single Girl" book might have been just one aspect of this whole story. I'm kicking myself that I haven't gone through the things in the cellar before, and I had a whole year.

I could've been on top of this way before it came to a head.

The Mule Stands Alone -- Already Classic

I'm giving my blog post yesterday the rare "ALREADY CLASSIC" designation. "The Mule Stands Alone." (I'm printing a certificate for my wall.)

What a mossy day. I was so full and free, thinking enough thoughts for three people. They ought to name a Ray Charles album after me.

Some writers look for the mathematical and archetypal complexities hidden at the heart of religion and myth (Dan Brown, Joseph Campbell)...

But I'm busy examining the complex relationships of Peruvian queens, impotent American men, and all this relates to the breeding of mules.

You start connecting the various random events of life and you can come up with some interesting conspiracies.