Why Would These Tweeple Unfollow Me?

Everyday on Twitter, a handful of people unfollow me. And likewise several follow me. I follow almost everyone who follows me and unfollow everyone who unfollows me.

It's been a while since I initiated a follow, but the ones I have whom I follow but don't follow me reflects some of those folks. (I'm following 3913 as of this minute, with 3833 followers.) I say it reflects some of them because there's a bunch, I don't know how many, who follow me but I never followed them.

I really don't know any of them. I know a few of them (less than 10) better than the ones I don't know at all, but even these relationships (laughable use of the word) are nothing. In short, I don't know anyone on Twitter.

Following the 3913 as I do, naturally I don't keep track of what they're saying most of the time. The only ones I see are the ones whose tweets happen to be streaming past in the three-to-four minutes a day I'm looking at it, on TweetDeck. I see their names in that little space of time, but they're all the same. None of them except the less-than-10 I mentioned do I recognize even in the slightest.

Now, 3913 isn't really very many compared to some of them I've seen. Take FacetStudio in the graphic, following 68726! That's huge! But still, 3913 is quite a few if you were trying to keep track of them. On TweetDeck, the tweets of these are zipping by extremely fast, blip-blip-blip. In a few seconds they've scrolled off the screen, never to be seen again.

One other thing about me unfollowing. I said I unfollow anyone who unfollows me. But I don't initiate unfollows otherwise. The reason is, frankly, who cares? They're not bothering me in the slightest. I do unfollow these other characters because, WTF? Why are you unfollowing me? I'm not doing anything that should get too many people agitated.

Recently, though, I did a few political humor tweets. In the larger scale of anything, about as consequential as tossing a pebble in the ocean. Maybe someone would unfollow me for that. But usually, it seems to be the most random, unnecessary act in the world to, suddenly out of the blue, unfollow me.

In the graphic I have two who unfollowed me recently, out of bunches. They're opposites, that's why they're pictured.

Let's look at IAMPREVALENT. I don't know if I initiated the follow in that case or not. Probably not, because at the time I was looking for people who would follow me back. Prevalent's balance doesn't show that as being likely. So apparently Prevalent initiated things by following me first. Then I followed back. At some point, then, Prevalent unfollowed me. We ask why? It looks obvious that Prevalent wants to get a lot of followers without actually following back. So I can see why I would be unfollowed. That one is very clear.

The more interesting one is FacetStudio. Following 68726, followed by 81662. It could be Facet is going the way of Prevalent and I just happen to be one of the first ones to go. Just unfollowing us wholesale, if that's what happened, OK. But excluding that, I can't think of a good reason. Like I said, following 3833 is so many I don't know one person from another. If I were following over 68000, it's going to be so much worse, why would I be micromanaging it to such a degree that this guy and this guy get the ax? I wouldn't know those guys in the slightest, there'd be no reason.

Of course I'm looking at all this from the way I do things. But maybe Facet, having a studio and everything, has higher standards in who to follow and unfollow, and a greater system of doing it. Maybe there's employees tinkering with the following list, always at work pruning it for merchandising purposes or whatever. Since I haven't bought a painting, the computer is blinking and beeping: NUMBER 53,456 MUST BE CUT OFF! It's such a large outfit in my imagined version of things that they're turning us over at super speed, like the way they continually rotate silage so it doesn't burst into flames. (Rural background.)

The weird thing would be if Facet is just a guy like me, sitting at his computer, manually and purposefully tending to his 68726 follows. He'd have to be some kind of super brain, and definitely more into worthless minutia than I'll ever be!

Take care, IAMPREVALENT. Following only 18, your feed is nothing. That'd be nice. And take care, FacetStudio. Whatever you're up to, it's cool.

Four Kats Are Following Me

I woke up today to a pleasant surprise, four more rabid followers for my blog. These four join the other six, making them now the Terrific Ten!

(Following this blog has certain benefits besides the editorial red meat I throw out on a regular basis. One benefit, in fact, was just yesterday, before I gained the four Kats, last night, when we had the wiener roast and hayrack ride. And, two, sometimes we get together at one of the coffee places downtown and hash out ideas for future posts. I've had to stare down a couple of them with some harshness a time or two for crossing me, meaning it hasn't always been pleasant. But I can also be easy, like if they bring cookies.)

You have to admit, having six followers one day, then 10 the next, demonstrates exponential growth. At that rate, let's say every day I got four more, that'd be 28 in a week, and that's not even counting the very realistic expectation that some of them might tell their friends, then there'd be five, six, maybe even 100, new ones everyday. Wouldn't that be wild?

Yes, in fact it would be wild, so wild I couldn't stand it, and it actually might kill me. I love the traffic, don't get me wrong, and I love the cookies they bring, of course, but that'd be a lot of pressure to know there were that many people hanging around. The way it is now, being fairly small and few, it's easy enough to remember everyone's names. And with the four Kats, that's no problem.

Let's see. I'll try to recite them from memory. It seems like there was Katherine, Katherine, Katherine, and Katie. I'm just double-checking my notes, and, yes, that's them. My mom used to have a dear friend Kathleen, so she might be coming by. We could get someone from Katmandu, go out hunting specimens of katydids, get some drinks at the Kit Kat Club, then come home and take a  ... catnap.

The actual truth of the matter is that Katherine is one person, one brilliant person who somehow broke the code of how to follow the same blog four times. The scientists just the other day proved Einstein wrong about light being the fastest thing around. And now Katherine has done this! Amazing! I'm grateful for the extra hands with our shared responsibilities, all eight of them, or I guess it's probably just two.

Anyway, we send out a BIG Grandma Slump welcome to our most recent followers: Katherine, Katherine, Katherine, and Katie! You're very nice people and we're glad you're all here!

Farewell To Twitchelmore (Tweets)

I just lost some guy I kind of liked. Twichelschnitzel or something like that. He's big into literature, apparently the obscurer the better.

I like hearing obscure literary stuff -- like obscure esoteric religion, everything -- but there's no time to be an expert at everything.

And Twichelschnitzel seemed like an expert of the obscurest of the obscurest. A great little niche if you're willing to ignore the general.

It's kind of liberating actually that he dumped me unceremoniously. Now I can talk about him and reflect on what we shared for a week and ½.

Thanks for a great week! I looked him up later. It was Twitchelmore.

The Cellar Dweller (Tweets)

~In the cellar you can set your mind at ease. In the cellar you'll be cool but you won't freeze. In the cellar it's as nice as it can be...~

Just added myself to the http://wefollow.com twitter directory under: #humor #wisdom #spirituality #weird #obsessive

I put a fake town though.

Humorously wise, spiritually weird, and obsessively paranoid about everything. Are there followers for a cellar dweller such as I?

I have vaulted all the way to #299 of those with "weird" for a search word at wefollow. PLEASE, I must not fall into the 300s again!

Good grief, I just realized, I can't be blocking porn merchants and people with naughty profiles. I need the numbers to stay above 300!

So...I'm having a sale for followers...any crumb may follow me. You will stay until I get actual people to replace you. It'll be extra work.

Quick, say something humorous... Uh... I just watched "West Side Story." Now I'm looking for the sequel, "East Side Story." ?? No good?

OK, that's not funny. How about this? The Republicans don't want hetero- or homo-. They want BI-partisanship!

I just slipped to 300 on the wefollow rankings. With a down arrow. So thanks a lot. (It's my fault for blocking that naughty profile lady.)

But 300 is still pretty good. Better than 310, which I hope I never see. But I'm going to need your help. Everyone follow HARDER, c'mon!

300, wasn't that the name of a famous movie a few years ago? I didn't see it but I think it had to do with 300 guys doing something weird.

I like weird movies, the weirder the better. Like Kafka stuff, The Castle, Trial, &c Or Fellini's 8½. Any movie bluffs out there, BLUFFS?

But being in the 300s is closer to the cellar, which I like. If I were in the top 100 or, God forbid, the top 10, I would die from anxiety.

So be careful what you wish for. I'm now GLAD I'm at 300. If I go lower, so much the better. In fact I may need to drop out completely.

Lost A Follower

I lost a follower at Twitter, the first one I had. He suddenly left.

I thought it was a little suspicious how he "followed" me right away. So I kept things pretty close to the vest, hoping to feel him out.

Now, just let me say to the Grange Brotherhood, I understand the whole dynamic at work here. There could be some benefit to you in this. But in this case your informant didn't get much information, did he?