Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The McCain Doctrine - "That's Not Too Important"

We heard The McCain Doctrine today, which comes down to this phrase, "That's not too important."

If it's the possibility that the troops might come home from Iraq, and at long last the Iraq war would be over with, McCain's response is, "That's not too important." Again, let's stay there a hundred years, it's all the same to him.

We see in the McCain doctrine a twist on Alfred E. Newman's doctrine, "What, me worry?" Whatever the issue, there's nothing to it, nothing worth worrying about. Let it go.

He actually can have very simple policies with this philosophy. Education, if we wonder is our children learning? "That's not too important." And that's true, because it doesn't seem like there's much left to discover. Anything that's been discovered is already known by someone. There's no use in everyone else knowing it, too.

Health care? "That's not too important." That's also true, because no matter how good of health we're in -- or how poor -- we're all eventually going to die anyway. Do you think people a hundred years ago in Grandma Slump's day were any better off if they died in 1915 or 1920? It's all in the past, old news, irrelevant.

But surely energy and oil prices are important? "That's not too important." OK, I guess I can see his point. What's the difference? If we have gas, we'll use it. If we don't, we won't. It is very simple. We can relive McCain's childhood. Bring back the blacksmith. Everyone get a horse and buggy. It'd be kind of neat really. It'd provide lots of jobs, cleaning up after horses.

So, dear voter, do you have worries? Do you have concerns. Well, quit it! Why should you worry? Just repeat John McCain's mantra: "That's not too important." Let it go.

Either things will get better on their own or they won't. We can't do anything about it, so relax...

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