Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Dwelling On My Hiatus?

I've been accused of dwelling too much on my hiatus, the one I'm currently taking. To which I reply, "I'm taking a hiatus. What else would I dwell on?" When that's what you're doing that's what's going to be on your mind. Sheesh. Can't please some people. But I know how it goes, since that's in part the whole reason for this little breather I've been taking. And you read that right, at this point it's "a little breather," not permanent retirement. Let me stress that again, or emphasize it, my hiatus is not -- not -- I'll repeat that, not permanent retirement at this time.

You'd think they'd catch the irony of the situation. Kind of silly, really. Nag, nag, nag ... "not doing enough, not giving us enough," on and on. Then you announce a hiatus and actually follow through and take it and the nagging just intensifies. It's insane! People, that was the problem in the first place! Hello? Hello? Do you want me back or not? If you do you're going about it entirely the wrong way, let me tell you right now. Because I am decidedly not coming back if all I'm greeted with is the demand for more, more, more. That's the last thing I want to hear. It's simply cluelessness on your part, with no apparent ability to discern why I took this hiatus and what might end it.

I said my hiatus is not permanent retirement at this time. That last bit there is a very key point. At this time. Meaning, you know, push me too far and I might go all the way. I could retire just like that. And I wouldn't look back. Any regrets I might have at that point would have to take a backseat to my iron will. I'm a stern taskmaster when it comes to the will. I say it and it's done. It's always the same, cold turkey, right now! I'm not big on threats I can't back up. I'm not all talk. I'm also action. So don't try me.

It's because I know that about myself that I'm not really that flustered about all the pressure. If I seem flustered about it, I'm not. What I am -- I do get exasperated, but only because I see people shooting themselves in the foot. Here's the message: You don't get your way with me by nagging. You're much more likely to get your way by backing off and playing it cool. In this case, then, with my hiatus giving me the chance to relax and take a load off, to have some refreshment, I would ease back into it with a clear head and some happiness. But you'd have to be a saint not to get your back up a little with this kind of self-defeating behavior.

OK, I think I've given it to you straight. You've got it, right? There's no mistaking my intentions this time, is there? You promise you won't forget? Good, then I'll try to be gentle from here on out. I've never thought I was actually ready for permanent retirement. Of course that's out there in the distant future for me, but not immediately. It's like anything; things start and then they eventually come to an end. But it happens in the course of time. One day this work of mine will come to an end. That is certain. Then you will look back to the first day and you will look at the last day. Then you will look at the body of work in between ... and, I hope, appreciate it.

But as for now, we're not at that far off, distant day yet. At this point I'm not considering permanent retirement, just as I said. But please, please, let me take this hiatus without any undue kicking against it ... or me.

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