Just before I came to my computer, here in Hiatus Central, I made the mistake of listening to the Billy Joel song, "Pressure." And it really reminded me of a lot of things.
It reminded me of the pressure I was experiencing in the heyday of this blog, the get-togethers, the newsletters. I felt like producing in volume in those days -- and of course it was never enough for the voracious readers and those who made it their business to hang around me. I was suffering some major out of pocket expenses for refreshments and some accommodations, but of course this was never enough, because people always have different preferences than what you just happen to give them. It's the old saying come to life, that no good deed goes unpunished.
Plus, listening to that song, brought to mind the mounting pressure I'm feeling even now that I'm on hiatus, to really make it count. It's like going on vacation but not enjoying yourself (sometime), like if you have a set list of places you need to go and people you need to see. If you have a lot of far flung relatives, they better never hear you were within 100 miles and didn't stop! It's that kind of pressure. And in addition, maybe at a smaller scale, there's the pressure of getting just the right souvenir of your visit, which usually is easily dealt with, since the best souvenir is either a commemorative plate or coin.
I have pressure today, because I know the lawn needs mowed, some sticks need picked up out of the yard, and other various domestic duties are barking for a minute of my time. I hear ya!
Pressure is a mental thing. It's a build-up, maybe of brain fluids that have no where to seep out, which means an extra hole in your head is probably precisely what you need. It's like hermetically sealed up there at times, with your thoughts colliding like bumper cars. The little sparks at the ceiling, though, generate enough heat and smoke and accumulate, and having no natural place to vent, bring about that feeling of pressure. I believe this accounts for perspiration on your forehead nine times out of 10.
But still I'm pressing on. I'm hoping to enjoy my hiatus. Some of the sweet days of the last week have gone away, and I feel like a few negative vibes are on the ascendancy. It's a matter of venting somehow, hoping for the best.