Monday, May 24, 2010

The Slumps Vs. The Industrialists

I've been watching "Family Feud" on TV a lot lately, thanks to the Game Show Network.

What's Richard Dawson up to these days? He lives on in reruns, that's what, still kissing all the ladies from the '70s or '80s, whenever that was.

The later hosts aren't quite as affectionate, the guy from "Home Improvement" and the guy from "Seinfeld." But they're on there everyday too, carrying on the same game, two families or two associated entities who are playing for the big money, $20,000.

I could really use $20,000, if only there was someone in my family I could really count on if we could get on that last part they have on the show. And if we failed to get 200 points, still $5 a point sounds pretty good. Just not as good as $20,000, of course.

Since I'm so opposed to those blasted industrialists, the industrial powers, wouldn't it be a great fantasy to have the Slumps on one side and the Industrialists on the other? They have that needlepoint font that spells out the names of the families, and that would look interesting. Although if we were going by the spirit of the families (entities) in this case, the Slumps would best be represented with the needlepoint font, but the Industrialists by the Impact font, which is on most computers today. It's very cold and machine-like.

Anyway, there we'd be, the Slumps, the true representatives of feeling humanity, and the Industrialists, like aliens from some other planet, having a snake like texture under a thin veneer of fake skin. The Slumps would be playing for the world's honor, the Industrialists for the money alone. The Slumps would confer among themselves about the answers, seeking consensus. The Industrialists, true to their evil nature, would be arguing among themselves, then stabbing each other in the back until they only had one representative of their entity standing on the corpses of the others. We Slumps would come with shotguns, meaning we would survive.

I myself would definitely be playing for keeps, like I do everyday in regard to these blasted cretins. Because I would know there's much more than money up for grabs, there's humanity's interests and our family's honor. We haven't given in to these miserable creatures yet, and -- with God's help -- we never will, we won't.

It'd be two teams playing for all the marble. Just like we already are doing in real life, them, the bad guys ... and us, nothing but good. And wanting that $20,000.

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