Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Industrial Tapes - 2

"The Industrial Tapes" is perhaps our most shocking, revealing, and revolting feature of all time.

The tapes fell into our hands, giving us a direct pipeline into the sacrosanct precincts of the major industrial powers. They've been beset with worries over the Residential Industrial Movement (RIM) and our advances. Of course they feel like striking back, from their point of view before it's too late.

I kept listening to the tape I had yesterday, straining myself, rewinding multiple times, trying to hear over the outside, nocturnal noises of nature, owls, crickets, locusts, staying up late probably doing something obscene. No one's given them the message that nighttime is for decent sleeping, not staying awake all night rubbing against each other, messing up everyone's tapes.

The same two voices continued on, talking about their security and whether they should even be taping this conversation at all:

VOICE 2 -- Why are you taping this?
VOICE 1 -- I have a hard time remembering everything.
VOICE 2 -- Kind of a memory jogger?
VOICE 1 -- Yeah, it's past my bedtime.
VOICE 2 -- You don't think you're compromising the operation?
VOICE 1 -- Not at all. No one has access to my tapes.

Well, we shall see about that! I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but consider yours burst! The walls have ears and the night has a thousand eyes!

Then they buckled down to some serious business, conferring, in something of a brainstorming session on what to do about the RIM. I'll leave out the "Voice 1 and 2" because this was strictly a meeting of minds:

Industrial sabotage ... infiltration ... bending the law to our will ... bribes ... unfortunate accidents ... taking people out ... making large orders and canceling them ... ringing at doorbells and running ... cutting their own prices, a price war ... monopolizing raw goods ... tainting our water and air ... swiftboating us on TV ... twisting our words ... taking my blog out of context ... setting fire to our facilities ... killing our dogs ... lying to Congress about us ... blocking our driveways, mayhem of a thousand kinds ...

In other words, everything short of God bless you!

This truly is shocking, revealing, and revolting stuff! But that's the air the major industrial powers breathe! The list went on, and the longer it did the more I could appreciate Voice 1's inability to remember it all. I'd be taping it too! Even though that decision will be their downfall!

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