Thursday, July 8, 2010

Industrial Turnabout Is Fair Play

The standards conclave had just adjourned and the delegates had started to scatter to the four corners ready to ply their industrial trade, when, lo and behold, the vultures swooped in.

We proffer our apologies to actual vultures, because as scurrilous as an actual vulture is these guys are 10 times worse. You probably guessed who I'm talking about, patent attorneys with their infernal papers.

The way it works really is that the patent attorneys sit in their luxury citadels somewhere while a combination of process servers and law enforcement comes in to do their dirty work. So we're not diverted or distracted about who to blame. And even saying that, the patent attorneys aren't 100% to blame, since they represent the major industrial powers, somewhere in even better luxury citadels.

But if we can take out the middle man, then of course we're free to continue on on our merry way, which is for the best. Because we're not doing anything wrong.

The whole system of patents has become corrupt to the point that, given the choice, they would stymie Edison himself! Because nowadays men are patenting glimpses of ideas they had one day while sitting in the course of a particularly strenuous bowel movement! Seriously! To legally come up with a new refrigerator design these days you'd literally have to make it look like a tuba, that's how many "ideas" they've left out there for the rest of us!

But they didn't anticipate what the residential industrial movement would do, which is to create our own bureau of residential patent attorneys, certifying them according to their own ambition and our need. We simply established our own law, that proxy trespassing is illegal, not to jail those who serve papers but the ones who've commissioned them.

Even now we have black hooded residential enforcement officers scouring the country, searching for patent attorneys and their industrial power masters, to jail them in our own residential jails and to try them. We know what they look like as they sip drinks in their citadels, maniacal and bleary-eyed.

This is going to be a game changer, because the rules and numbers are now on our side!

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