Friday, July 30, 2010

The Industrial Tapes - 3

Thank God I have you, my most faithful readers, because I'm feeling very paranoid today. I need a long distance hug if you don't mind.

I was listening to another of The Industrial Tapes, a stash of secretly recorded tapes gotten somehow (through a source) from the major industrial powers. My paranoia is this: 1) I know they're reading the blog and they'll do whatever they need to do to get the tapes back. 2) They were talking about me on this latest tape!

When listening to it, I subjected it to my usual discernment process, listening for background noises, to give me a better understanding of the setting. It was only then that I paid more attention to the conversations taking place.

What I heard on this tape was enough to localize it. What I heard made my hair stand on end! At the same time I had goosebumps, felt a chill go up my spine, and needed to go to the bathroom really badly. Without hairspray, I can't do much about my tousled mane; nor do I have any control over crawling flesh or spinal impulses; but ever since I was a kid, I could control peeing my pants; this time was no exception, as hard as it was to stifle.

On the tape I could hear the rushing of the river in the background, a few dogs yipping and shaking, vehicle doors slamming, and the voices of men saying hello or goodbye! You can't get any more local than that! That's the park down by the river! I take my own dog down there, where she can run. And it seems that every other guy in town does the same! (I've never seen a woman there.)

Not everyone has a dog, of course. There's just a lot of guys who show up, probably because it's a nice place to look at the river. I keep seeing them walk a path and then come back, down there probably going to the bathroom. They come back zipping their pants. I had a sudden thought. I'd hate to imagine what else might be going on down there. But one thing it points out very clearly, the city needs more porta-potties closer to the parking lot.

Anyway, the tape was clearly recorded there, meaning these are guys for whom the sense of urgency is obviously a compulsion. There's nothing they're not capable of, given the luxury of two or three minutes of time. They're willing to take this thing the whole nine yards, and whether I stand a chance against them will depend on how willing I am to yield. So this could be my most challenging trial yet, if and when they get a hold on me.

The worst part of the tape was the conversation they were having about me -- that's what makes it so terrible. Of course I knew I was a topic of conversation among the industrial powers. How could I not be, with all I've done to chap their hide over the last few months? But now they're out for a lot more!

VOICE 1 -- Will I see you tomorrow night?
VOICE 2 -- I'll be here.
VOICE 3 -- Ooo, I love the way you say that, very firm, very manly...
VOICE 2 -- Who said that? Thompson, is that you?
VOICE 3 -- Yeah. [I hear some rustling of branches as Thompson apparently emerges from hiding.]
VOICE 1 -- What are you doing here?
THOMPSON -- The boss sent me down to tell you to step on it.
VOICE 1 AND 2 -- Step on what?
THOMPSON -- The plan, to get him!
VOICE 2 -- You mean?
THOMPSON -- Exactly.

I'm sorry, but since I heard that I'm watching my back, and my backside. These guys have official orders to get me. Now you can see why I need that long distance hug! This is a terrible turn of events!

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