I Need Emptier Shelves

NIGHT:

Some people want to have everything there is, that's why they need plenty of shelf space. The more the better.

I seriously envy two groups of people: 1) Those who have everything; and, 2) Those who have nothing.

I'm in the middle with an arbitrary collection, missing many things that'd make it complete, stacked on my shelves in arbitrary ways.

You see some guy who has everything on his shelves and it's nicely organized, maybe taking up a whole room, that's a beautiful look.

He always looks like someone who expects you to admire it and him. I hate to generalize but that's been my experience.

And you see a guy who has nothing -- a couple books, an empty wine bottle, an alarm clock -- he might be the happiest of all of us.

I'd like to be that guy sometime. Just empty everything out. Like a friend I had who joined a cult. They made him clear his shelves.

But I don't want to join a cult like that. He gave away everything and the next thing I knew he was mad when his parents kidnapped him.

Still, I'm in a battle with myself. I look at the shelf and think, "I didn't have that three months ago. Why do I need it now?"

The solution is to thin out a few things every now and then, when the spirit moves, then resist the impulse to go buy more.

I was at Goodwill tonight. And they had a nice CD shelf, one of those 4-5 shelf things. I came THAT close to getting it, then didn't.

I See My Shelves

AFTERNOON:

Ask me about shelving. Do I sell shelving? No. Do I know anyone who does? No. Is there any money to be made by me in shelving? No.

I do a lot of shelving, a lot of putting things on shelves, looking at my shelves, and wondering what I should be doing with my shelves.

When I wake up I see my shelves. Before I go to bed, there they are. Loaded and overloaded. Stacks of things pointing every direction.

On my shelves there are lots of things that could use a good dusting. There's a lot of things that could use a good tossing out.

I have some of the trinkets of the first scary hunchbacked man I ever knew. I have three objects. One on the wall, two on my shelf.

This man ran a small business that my family bought out. I'm sentimental about him, although he's not well known.

I've checked eBay for anything relating to his business. It's not impossible that something could show up there. But it's SO not likely.

Anyway, this guy -- whose first name was Otis -- Otis' few remaining objects are on my shelf. Weird, huh?

On my wall is a calendar that belonged to Otis and advertises his business. It has the complete year of 1938. I keep it set at January 1938.

One other thing, I have pictures of people I don't know, including a cool 50 year old woman in a gold lame suit who I call "Aunt Goldie."

It's all on my shelf. Shelves are so useful! What do your shelves say about you? I know what they say about ME. Slump out...........

A Great Idea About Shelves

MORNING:

I had this great idea ... about shelves ... that we keep things on shelves ... but with the light of day it doesn't sound great anymore.

So it looks like I'm stuck. I can personally relate to shelves, or concerning shelves, and most people probably can. Who have shelves.

There they are against the wall, the poor floor under them, the poor beams holding up the floor, all of it a weighty mass.

If yours are like mine -- and there might be some real slobs out there -- they're doing their job and doing it well.

They can't organize themselves. They can't organize themshelves. So it's not their fault that they look like a controlled explosion.

Our shelves, like our desks, are a reflection of ourselves. Not to be too trite, I get semi-embarrassed when people see my shelves and desk.

Because I know what it means. But maybe THEY don't know what it means. My shelves tell me I'm busting at the seams.

What do your shelves say about you? This is one problem I'm just going to live with. At this point I can barely do anything else

Shelf Things

It's probably no secret that my favorite Jonas Brothers song is "Shelf." I listened to it just a couple days ago.

"Don't take my heart and put ... it ... on a shelf, yeah."

It's a good driving rocker, very exciting. More than that, what can I say? I'm way out of their age group but I do have that one CD. Although now that I think of it, didn't I burn it in the yard after they insulted people over 35? I believe so.

Now I remember: My burning it was either a joke or symbolic, which is appropriate since the second song on the album was "Burnin' Up." To watch it go up in flames, as I now recall, was an experience that made me delirious with revenge.

But it was definitely symbolic, the burning, since I know it's on my shelf with everything else. Ironic, huh? They don't want to be put on a shelf yet that's exactly where they always end up.

I have lots of shelves with lots of things. Just the way I like it. Except it'd be cool to live in a big warehouse with miles of shelves. And to have your own personal forklift to lift things 40 feet and stack them on big pallets. I'd be beeping the thing when in reverse even though there'd be no one else there. With a hard hat.

One of my favorite images, from Kafka books and movie adaptations of his books, is of shelves overstuffed with papers, books, knickknacks, folders, and who knows what. Like in his old lawyer's office in The Trial or the mayor's home in The Castle. File cabinets stuffed haphazardly.

I don't actually keep my shelves that poorly arranged -- but basically I do, since nothing's precisely organized. Books aren't in alphabetical order or even grouped by authors or type. I do have some things ordered and it's useful. But there's lots of other interesting junk stacked around with them. Then on some they're in there with a layer in the back, middle, and front. However much space there is, that's what gets used.

Like almost all my poetry books are on one bookcase. But it's not as nice as it sounds, since nothing's ordered. I still have a hard time finding things, because I don't know what I have precisely. I was looking for Swinburne the other day but couldn't remember if I had anything by him. I couldn't find him if I do. Plus there's other junk up there loading it down, including an old transistor radio, CDs, cassettes, pictures, a dancing hamster greeting card, a chewed up hard drive, and so forth.

I have other shelves that are worthless, because where are you supposed to stack the junk of a lifetime? I'd like to have them all in the basement, where there are others, but things down there always has a chance of molding. Some is.

I saw someone say the other day that if you get something you should get rid of another thing. So you'd have an unchanging number of things, which sounds too arbitrary to me.

I see bookcases in magazines or ads for bookcases. And they're weird. These people don't need a bookcase. They have about five books, a few other things on the other shelves, and it's virtually bare. What do they need a bookcase for?

You only need shelves when you're going to use them. To their fullest.