The Destiny Biz Monks Trade In

 Knowing Your Destiny

Part 15 of 30

An old monk I happened to meet the other day -- it was foreordained -- brought forth an idea after I sketched out some of my theories on Destiny. It was actually his encouragement of me on the subject that led to this "Knowing Your Destiny" series. So let me give a symbolic tip of my good old pith helmet (made of straw) to Senor Lao Matsui for everything, his help, encouragement, opinions, intuitions, and the shared wisdom of the masters, including, I guess, little old me! How about that, me, a pipsqueak everywhere I go, a master!

That’s pretty good company to be in, but I don't know what they think. But I did what I could, what anyone would probably do, shook his hand profusely, gave him my friendliest smile, and had him sign the typical waiver I carry to allow me to publish his ideas without remuneration, him giving up all rights to me "for educational purposes,” i.e., for eternity, all rights reserved, don’t let the door hit you on the backside on the way out.

Actually, that’s just the business angle and of course Brother Matsui and I parted as good friends. I followed his lead in all the bowing, because it’s not something I normally do (definitely no scraping) I hope he received all my bows in the spirit with which I gave them, which was simply reciprocal and imitative, my people frankly having never bowed to any mortal man. I'm the first. And he was very cool which made it a little easier to violate the family standard.

It’s always amazing to me, though, when I meet one of these native types with their endless reservoirs of folk knowledge, wisdom, quaint sayings, postures sitting, standing on one leg, hands in various prayer gestures, and summoning rain, clouds, whatever the garden needs. Bug spray maybe. I definitely always love how these guys talk -- mincing little words delicately chirped, always with the quaint sayings, very terse, memorable, and to the point. Mother Earth this and that. The wise soul believes thus and such. Signs point to yes, then to no, then to who knows, are there any objections? Certainly not before we dig into a plate of treats.  

Anyway, with the graphic I tried to incorporate some of the very cool jive he was trying to pass off on me, and it actually did feed my soul. Although I can’t remember the whole explanation, something about trying to keep balance with your weight. At first I thought he meant I needed to lose a few pounds, then I got the definite feeling that there’s something about balance, this, that, the other thing, all of it very cool. Finally, all was rescued when the plate of treats arrived.

I wasn’t sure about any of it, really. But I pointed to myself a number of times and said, “Me!? This has to do with me!?” Indeed the focus was on me, with what you see in the graphic, various weights and measures, package one, package two, big, little, enormous, all out of balance, Whatever Lao Matsui said about me, I nodded eagerly, hoping to get something monetary that’d help pay the bills, but that was a disappointment. Instead he had what appeared to be a four-pronged system. Which I guess I can summarize as This, That, The Other Thing, and One Other Thing makes four.

What a blessing it was. Amen.

His Eyes Set On Destiny

Knowing Your Destiny

Part 12 of 30

In my travels 'round The Big City, I've several times had the opportunity to engage in conversations with others. I met this guy, anyway, and in few days I hope to say a few things about a local monk who also turned me on to some really deep jive on Destiny. Both guys -- even though they’re both guys from around here -- could not have been more different. This guy was distinctive for the piercing fire in his eyes; he definitely doesn't have the gene for lazy eye. He was also distinctive for the force behind his opinions.

No doubt he would object to calling anything he said mere “opinion,” since he lives only by Truth and Truth alone. I kind of doubt his outlook and yet at the same time envy him. How great it must feel to be so certain of everything, not just your own destiny but the destiny of the whole world, the whole cosmos, the whole kit and caboodle and Tyler too! Like a guy I once met hitchhiking as a kid who said people in Texas only drive two speeds, zero and 150 mph. It sounds impossible but he was so certain of it I still can't possibly doubt him.

Anyway, let's get to it, here are some of the pithy (yet deep and forceful) teachings passed on to me by my John Brown-like acquaintance. I’d like to just note one more thing about the guy, his burning eyes. We were at DQ, me trying to eat a hot fudge sundae while agreeing more or less with everything he said, and him basically doing brain surgery on me with his piercing eyes -- it was endless and uncomfortable -- staring into my eyes with a rare heat, literally melting my sundae and making me uncomfortable in other ways too. The neck of my shirt mysteriously squeezed me till my eyes bugged out. I was kind of mad about the melted sundae. But still managed to drink it in a couple gulps.

HIS TEACHINGS:
-- Nothing is ever what it seems. The truth you think is the truth isn’t. The truth you can’t handle.
-- There’s a force bigger than anything imaginable always forever pulling all the strings.
-- Only he and a few trusted others -- “the elders” -- know what it’s all about.
-- You should do a virus scan on all email.
-- Never get your shots.
-- Up is down and down up and both are conspiracies.
-- Potty-training makes boys effeminate.
-- Dishpan hands is a media hoax invented to pay for soap operas.
-- It’s reasonably tough to distinguish Shit and Shinola. Most people can’t. (I had him here, since I recently studied Shinola.)

He had a few other extraneous points but these made up his basic doctrine, what he’s pinning his whole destiny on. In a way, yes, he definitely has it going on. I wish I could be more like him. The certainty would be great. Then the burning eyes, the judgmental fervor, so much like the typical Episcopal priest it’s uncanny, with his divine ability to see through to the very core of all things, definitely a street corner prophet if ever I've seen one, with utter trust in existence and only one fear, hellfire for everyone else.

Yes, I Teach My Disciples Deeper Things

The question came up from one of my more faithful readers, "Is your teaching the same for everyone, or do you make distinctions for the---" That was his question word for word. As you can see, he broke it off without finishing, perhaps because he didn't know exactly how to word it. Or maybe he thought it was a stupid question and decided to cut his losses. (I don't think it's a stupid question.) Or maybe he was simply abashed by his effrontery, asking me something like that, thinking, If I wanted him to know, I'd tell him.

Well, have no fear, dear one, I am happy to tell you. You must know how open I am to all seekers, and what a true welcome I give to your questions. I'm nothing if not full of love and grace. I've never turned away a true seeker yet, and since that's the way it's been, that's probably the way it will be for the foreseeable future. You can ask me basically anything. Of course I don't want overly personal questions --no one would -- like what's a typical shower like for me, or how often do I change my underpants. (It's everyday, I guess I don't mind that question, since there's nothing embarrassing about it.)

But first I need to finish his question. "Is your teaching the same for everyone, or do you make distinctions for the uninitiated, the facile, the moronic, the surface-dweller, the common Joe, the sightseer, the dullard, and/or the shallow?"

The answer is a qualified YES. I would qualify it by saying, theoretically, the fullness of my teaching is available to anyone. I realize we're all seekers (I used to be), and that we don't have what we're seeking for, and often we're ignorant of what it even is. So I don't make distinctions, theoretically; I want everyone to know that he is welcome to sit at my feet and to receive what he needs.

But that's in theory; the practical truth, for one reason or another, is that not everyone is ready, and, frankly, there's no time wasting their time or mine in those instances. They may not be wise enough to see it. I find that's very typical. But I am wise enough to make that judgment, and it's usually a snap judgment, with my record so far being 100% accuracy. I can just look at you, and maybe listen to you guffaw loudly, or clap someone on the back in an outrageous way, and say, "This person isn't ready." So I send them off.

Whether, then, folks wander in darkness, never finding their way back to the light, of course that's possible. But I figure, you know, it's a big world, there's only one of me, and I can't be all things to all people, try as I might. I'm just happy to know I can pluck a few of these poor souls out of the fire. That's fulfilling to me.

So I am, of course, open and willing to teach people the wisdom they need. And I do it, day after day, sometimes till I'm literally about to drop. Even in those extreme moments, I do it with dedication, even if I can barely go on. But, yes, a lot of those folks are getting the shallower version of things, the truth they're able to grasp or bear. And they're happy, because for the most part they're oblivious to the fact that there's more to it!

But for the true seeker, meaning the one who is really ready, I am also ready, ready to take them under my wing and to share with them the deeper things. It's those who receive the full provision for their body, mind, soul, and spirit.

Great question!