Championship Belt Mortgaged

Part 17 of 30

The Mam & Pap

Royal Splendid Traveling Rodeo

Please stay with me on this series. I know it's veering off a little beyond the heroic nature of the rodeo that I’ve sketched so far. Sometimes things got tight and a little shady, and -- I hate to say it -- in this case they had to take drastic measures to keep the rodeo solvent. The rodeo biz has various intricacies like everything — particularly when scandal’s involved — nothing any of us likes. I certainly don’t like it, with Mam & Pap’s embarrassment being my embarrassment. But sometimes you have to face a situation head-on and maybe lose face to struggle back to wholeness, regaining what you lost, then going forth stronger than ever, we hope.

The unfortunate reality of a traveling rodeo is it can hit the skids real fast. Crowds are finicky, with a lot of it being at the weather's mercy. If it’s too cold by a single degree or too hot with the same margin, the crowd will simply stay home (in part) and do … whatever … who knows? If it’s what I’m thinking, showing a Triple X movie on the bedroom wall and gettin’ funky. Just remember, folks, you can go blind doing that. And a quick aside to the ladies, Don’t you have any self-respect, letting your slug husband deny you a rodeo date for the disgusting pleasures of … forget it, it's repulsive!

Enough of that, and, well, what can you say? A rodeo needs money to grease the skids, so to speak, but it has to be hard cash — they accept gold bullion but can't easily liquefy it — and with people staying home making a date out of acts that could just as easily be performed in the morning shower, the rodeo can be running close to the margin.

My advice to Mam and Pap was you have to bank more money. Pap threw up his hands in desperation. (Anyone reading this, consider going to every rodeo more often, like every night a week for a month. It’ll help.) They needed to raise the price of the program from a quarter to 30 cents. Enough copies sold and you’re talking real money. But any solutions are always better for the future, not for the present moment of extremity. They have to make decisions for the current day.

And some of those decisions are extremely dire. As in pawning the coveted championship belt for a quick 100. It’s not much, either, not when you consider how men have worked and trained and slaved away day in and day out to even have a chance to win temporary custody of the championship belt. You see it from afar and you know it’s a beauty. You put it around your waist after a genuine win — not just trying it on surreptitiously and preening — and you’re a new man. A champion not only in name but in regal display. It takes my breath away to hear of it going into hock.

This never happened but it was always a fear that the championship belt could through some underhanded scheming be the target of competing rodeos. Imagine the outcry if they advertised, “We’ve got Mam & Pap’s championship belt in our hot little hands!” It’s too much to even think of, let alone say. Think of that, though, when you’re planning your evening activities. There's entertainers out there that depend on you. And current rodeos are also fun for all, young and old alike.

Save Your Money, I Beg You

HANDLE YOUR MONEY CAREFULLY...
DON'T WASTE IT, WHICH IS THROWING IT

DOWN THE PROVERBIAL FETID RAT-HOLE

I try not to get myself mixed up in other people's affairs. I do everything I can -- diligently -- not to insinuate myself where it's none of my business, and where, frankly, I'm not wanted. This goes equally for family members as well as total strangers. Leave them to their own abilities, and if I see something askance, look away, don't get involved. That's family members. As for total strangers, just walk away, let 'em crash and burn if that's their will.

I'm setting aside this ironclad policy today, momentarily, to beg, plead, beseech, and implore you, to SAVE YOUR MONEY! If I can convey this one wish in a convincing way, and have even a shred of assurance that you're following my advice, I can walk away, content that you'll be OK. But not everyone is so responsive, and I fear that without due diligence that could be your path. You might casually note what I said, then be curious about my insistence and my sudden involvement, and choose to be cautious with your funds for a moment. Then after a time, you'll think, What's that guy know? What's it to him if I save my money or not?

True, it's really none of my business, I'll give you that. But there are times when you hear something, some piece of advice, and take it to heart. It doesn't matter if a stranger said it or it was something you read in the newspaper while sitting in a bus station on the can. Sometimes that's exactly how people decide their path, change their ways, and reset their course, their trajectory. It's exactly those moments when you hear something -- perhaps said in jest, or perhaps sincere, like I am today -- that is the pivotal moment, with your whole future depending on what you decide. Today is one of those days, my friend ... this is your moment!

Let me restate the proposition: SAVE YOUR MONEY!

You have a job. You bring in an income. But perhaps you're not careful with your earnings. I know how it goes. I've been there. The little desires of life are always with us. I want this, I need this, I deserve this, the boss has been riding my ass, and in my frustration, I'm gonna splurge this week! Then it's every week. I've done the same thing, to my regret. You want to raise your self-image, so you splurge on something that, if your mind were clear, you'd know was a waste. And then the money's gone, down the drain. And your frustrations rear their head over and over, and your head's in your rear over and over, and after many years of heads and rears, your entire financial outlook is in arrears. Penniless, broke, with the hole in your pocket having nothing to keep itself busy with.

So that's my plea: SAVE YOUR MONEY! Yes, use what you need to have basic shelter, food, an entertainment center, insurance, and the other necessities. But for the rest, deny yourself and save your money. Because you don't know what life will bring you. If you're like me, eventually you'll be presented with old age and new challenges; the full story is, I'm not doing too badly. But I carefully consider what I'm going to need for the rest of the month and what I can save. It's not the most exciting existence, but I'm not in a gutter on Skid Row rolling in my own filth. Or anyone else's, thank you very much.

To save your money, you set aside what is extra beyond your actual needs, and put it in a savings account. Easy. Then you resist every temptation along the way. Always aware of spending traps, like candy and treats and other impulse items at the checkout counter. Lottery tickets, cigarettes, pickles, and chips. And don’t get me started on coffee! You'll have trouble with discipline and denying yourself, but the more you resist, and the more you save your money, the more you'll have someday when you need something important. Like a house, a car, or an unexpected bill. (I might post someday on why there should never be an unexpected bill.)

Wow! when I think of all the spending traps, it just makes me sick. And I'm sure there's lots of other spending traps I'm not thinking of today. I've avoided them so many times, they're more or less out of mind. But this past summer I had a friend here in the Big City, and I went with him many times to the convenience store. Mistake One! The guy had zero discipline, always buying smokes and pickles and whatnot. I really had my doubts that he'd make it in life -- he was in poverty anyway, picking up aluminum cans with me to get cigarette money. One day he disappeared, and I haven't heard a thing about him since. But I'm fairly sure he hasn't attained financial discipline; his trajectory was completely askew.

Help me out here, though, friend. Let me have some assurance that you're different, that you'll heed this heads-up. And save your money. You don't have to tell me directly, OK? If you just consider it strongly, fervently, and make your decision, and relay your thoughts mentally through the blog, I'm very tuned in to its frequency. The slightest thing anyone thinks about it, I instantly know. It's what the psychics call the sixth sense. And my sixth sense definitely touches on saving money! When people are saving money, it glows a radiant blue. But when they're not, it emits a sickening yellow, with traces of orange and chunks.

Be wise, my friend, someone I can count on to be saving your money. It'll do you good in the long run! A lot of good! And it'll make me happy to know that you are saving your money, and that you'll be OK as time goes by. Because as time goes by you'll be able to afford what you need.

Paywall -- I Know You're Out There

I haven't heard from anyone yet about their subscription plan. I'm tapping the computer, it seems to be on. So it must be something else. I seriously want to encourage you, if it's courage you need, to please hurry up and get your financial info to me, and which subscription plan you've chosen. I can't delay the paywall much longer.

I think maybe I started something yesterday. In not hearing from you, I may have inadvertently insulted those of you who would otherwise have chosen either the Daily or Weekly plan. My designating of those levels "Wimps" and "Banties," and using other words denoting weakness, was only to give the sense of them in relation to the better, stronger plans. It was only my personal opinion, or sense of them, and I didn't mean to denigrate or demean anyone who would choose them.

All that said, the same truth holds, that you definitely have stronger options than to go with the bare minimum, cheapest option you can find. That's how it is throughout life. Like cars. If our first choice is just any old broken down clunker, obviously we are not going to get very far, either physically in transportation, or physically with any date that we may otherwise have had.

The way I've always seen it is that money doesn't buy happiness. Happiness starts in you, in your core, and only can be significantly aroused and strengthened by your money and your willingness to part with it. As an example, I presently have a dog, Underbrush, who was free. I love her with all my heart. But if I had purchased a dog, certainly that would also be good. Like one of those big fluffy white Newfoundlands that are so cool. They have to cost a lot! And since they eat like a horse, that'd take a lot of money. Meaning, I could just skip the middleman and buy a horse.

There's another possibility why some of you may be so slow to get your financial info to me, and your subscription plan, and that's because you're mad. Paywalls can be like that, bringing out the best or the worst in everyone. I know how strong those resolutions are: "I'll never ... blah blah blah." Hell, I've even said them myself, I'm now ashamed to admit.

But in my case, I've allowed cooler heads to prevail, and have acceded to whatever the demand of the moment was. Consequently, of course, I've had bills like you wouldn't believe. But I've been happy, even as, yes, naturally I know at some level I've been the host and some other guy the parasite. Now it's my turn. Think of yourself as a useful cog in the apparatus of free enterprise.

So where does this leave us? It leaves me waiting, impatiently, but as patiently as I can. And it leaves you with only one wise choice, either to go with my Daily, Weekly, Monthly, or Yearly plan. You definitely do not want to miss out! The paywall is going up very soon, and you don't want to be shut out of my blog!

I may not know everything about you. But of course I know enough to get you in big trouble if I don't hear from you real soon, PDQ, as in "Pronto, Tonto!", mister or ma'am, dear reader. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound threatening. I'm pleading, come on, good sport, loyal friend! Get your body in motion -- hey, hey! -- let's hear from you today! Are you sending it yet?

The Well-Built Wife

It only took a glance to see, She was a well-built wife, very fine!

Their situation was like this: Both Robert and Toni had decent jobs. They worked for the same company. They brought in a good income. You know the story...

In my opinion, what happened was, Robert probably had some issues from childhood on managing money. Maybe it was something his mom did wrong, or his dad. And then it carried over into adulthood, so much that he was destined to become a little over-controlling of their finances.

But not at first. At first, they did what most couples do, pooled their money; what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours. That makes good sense. You file jointly on your taxes, you live jointly as does any decent couple, which also made perfect sense in this case, for Robert and his well-built wife.

But then it got dicey, not all at once, but as these things tend to go, over time. Robert wasn't all that controlling at first, but it sneaked up on him, so to speak. He found himself a little more concerned about finances and meeting their bills, then there was the recession, then he was looking to save for a vacation, etc. In other words, outside events conspired with inner psychological wrangling, and all of it crept up on him, to the point that he was stifling his well-built wife.

As anyone could guess, she chafed against it as it got worse. "What happened to us? We used to be so happy," were probably things she said in their private moments, which, unfortunately, I wasn't privy to. But, Oh! to be a fly on the wall! I'm sure I would have gotten an earful, and since she was so well built, an eyeful.

But I had to hear it like everyone else, except to a certain extent I did have the inside track, since I was briefly friends with both of them. They talked it over with a trusted supervisor at their company, who also had a well-built wife, and he advised them to talk to a counselor.

In the end, it all turned out well, which isn't always the case when counselors get involved. Robert saw his complex for what it was, and as time went on, both he and Toni, still well built, were able to go back to the original (and more equable) arrangement they had when they first were married.

Step It Up In Life

I have a rock solid belief that anyone can step it up in life.

Meaning that you (or anyone) don't have to be in the same old rut, don't have to live in dire straits all the time, and don't have to have the same poor conditions next year as you're suffering this year.

Call this a "Drive for Pride" entry. Because that's what it is. It's time to get the pride of life, in the good sense of the phrase, and not to dwell in the same old disgusting pits.

I was helping someone with some forms, tax forms. We came to the space for the refund, routing it to a savings or checking account. You don't have a savings account? You don't have a checking account? No and No.

"Good grief," one's thinking goes, "How are you cashing checks? By paying constant fees? That's crazy! Is it that the minimum balance is too much? Some places it's only $100. You could quit buying DVDs, CDs, and junk food for a month and probably have $100 in discretionary income sufficient to have the minimum balance in the bank. What would it take? About an ounce of discipline? You could surely muster an ounce of discipline. Then who knows? You save all the money on cashing your checks, and in a little while that $100 minimum balance has paid for itself."

This whole short term living it up spirit of things is terrible. With a growing balance, putting away something, trying to live within your means, having something for a rainy day, etc., it's going to eventually do something for your pride and confidence as well. There's something to it, financial security.

To me this is crystal clear. I'm not rich by any means. But I'm not on the verge of total collapse from one minute to another. And I'm trying to make progress. I couldn't handle endless catastrophes, but maybe a few. Then once they'd passed, I'd try to rebuild in the event of the next one.

Stepping it up in life is a matter of saying, "I may have made some terrible choices in the past. But I'm not going to live that way anymore. I'm going to get a hold of myself. I'm going to get a grip. I'm going to be the master of my fate (to the extent that I can be) instead of letting fate master me."

Do it. Do it immediately. Step it up. It may be hard. But there's a lot more regrets in not stepping it up. You can bank on it!