Friday, November 1, 2019

I Choose Safety 100%

Part 1 of 30
There's Death In Them Thar Drawers

Friends, you know me: I’ve been here for years, laboring away through blood, sweat, and tears, and a good deal of anguish putting across my important teachings. I'm very happy to share and I'm glad you’ve come to trust me. I cherish that trust. And I know you, most of you by name. For years we’ve “shot the shit” over my blog, your great ideas for it, and of course you've honored me with many harrowing testimonies about how I’ve helped you, especially when times were tough. Keep putting the cream on it, the infection will go away, but it may take years.

And now as I think back and remember your real world problems, and how it was always something I’ve said that affected you deeply, leading to new understandings and a path forward, I'm glad we're still together. Recall, in turn -- because I’m a nice guy -- how I’ve claimed that you’ve also helped me, which in certain respects was true. Some of your stories, the things you’ve tried and failed at, have strengthened my natural paranoia and easily triggered in me a wise caution. And for that I’ll forever owe you a debt of gratitude, which I know I will never repay.

Among the precious memories I always have dealing with you are your hair-raising tales of sexual conquest and disappointment. For a guy nearly bald, my remaining hair always stands on end when I hear those stories! For those of you who live and love a little too close to the edge, too close for comfort, you’ve helped me double down on my natural proclivities toward scared abstinence. Every woman I see and also every man, the few who are actually good enough to “do,” I still judge not good enough to risk it. And I’ve maintained disciplined abstinence so long now that I don’t know any other way!

In this series of posts I hope to relate the lessons I’ve taken from that paranoia, which are actually comforting to me with the strong exception times when I’m wired on coffee. It’s then that I most often question my choices and motives, but after peeing maybe 25 times I’m as good as new and ready to face the day. Thanks to you, no matter how many times I behold appealing and possible paramours walk by here in the Big City -- and for some reason they’re always walking in the street and never the sidewalk -- I face absolutely no temptation. My choice of 100% safety has done me a lot of good. And by now, that choice, so strongly reinforced, is technically not even a choice but a way of life.

That will be my point of view this month in these presentations. For denying myself has done me a tremendous amount of good -- it's its own reward -- and I know, with the common fits and starts that accompany any generally disapproved path, which abstinence certainly is, it can do you good, too. I invite you to repeat my mantra if you’re serious, this most precious wisdom: “There’s death in them thar drawers.” And picture me watching these oh-so appealing people walking back and forth in the road! Yes, they look great, but, dammit, there’s death in them thar drawers! And even if they go home and change their drawers as many times as they want -- a thousand times! -- I’m no one’s judge but it’ll never be good enough for me.

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