Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I Might Restart The "Drive For Pride"

I might, I said. But it's getting late in the day, and I've had a busy day and I'm tired, so I don't know if I can exactly do it tonight.

I'll just put it out there that I might. Restart the "Drive for Pride" theme that I had for a while a couple months ago. It's a possibility, something to hope for maybe.

I hate to reopen old wounds, of course. I have a very sensitive nature, and it was from some unjustified criticism, some hyperliteralism from one of my critics, that the whole "Drive for Pride" went down the tubes. As I recall -- and I have put most of it out of my mind -- I gave it a brave effort after the criticism started, but my heart was no longer in it.

I had a teaching, a theme, on having a spine of steel -- something like that -- and someone took me to task over that! True! She insisted that you can't actually have a spine of steel. Which should go without saying. I think we all know that spines aren't literally made of steel. We do all know that, right? It's a figure of speech, and I knew the criticism was unjustified. But sometimes that's all it takes for me. That's how sensitive I can be. I'm sorry.

So whether I get the "Drive" going again or not, we shall see. A part of me would really like to. Because I remember how many people were helped. I was sailing high for a while. And for the most part I was just winging it. Whatever self-help thing I could think of, just off the top of my head, I was going with it. And as unbelievable as it sounds, I felt like I was really helping people.

I imagine people were reading it and making personal decisions based on what I was saying. And even on the biggie -- the spine of steel one -- I'm sure more people were helped by that than were hurt. I seriously doubt that anyone was hurt by it. Just that one critic, who should've been dismissed out of hand.

But can I do it again? Like I said, I was flying high, winging it. Because I had a lot of confidence. It was a wild time. Like the wild west of imagination. I could do anything. If I get going on it again, I'd like to get that back, and not have to be all tentative and reluctant to express myself, lest I be criticized. Certainly I would probably qualify many things that shouldn't be taken literally. But even that could stifle me. So I don't know.

You might want to check back often and see how I'm doing. It could be interesting. I don't know exactly how I could get going again in the same way. But I'll explore it in my own mental reveries and see what happens.

Maybe it won't be tomorrow. Maybe it will! I could be in a very fresh frame of mind tomorrow. We'll have to wait and see.

The "Drive for Pride" may or may not rise again! If it does, that will be a reason for rejoicing!

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