What Makes A Woman Beautiful?

First, let me say right up front, I'm not going to crap out on you and end up saying it's "inner beauty" that makes a woman beautiful, even though of course that's the real answer. To me, that's just a cop out, designed to soothe the ruffled feelings of women who don't look so great. Which I can say, because I don't look that great either, even though I'm a man and we're supposed to look gnarly.

My real thought on beauty vs. non-beauty is I don't really care what a woman looks like. I'm not in the market for one anyway, so it's actually a non-issue. And if it came right down to it and I was in the market, of course I'd prefer one with "inner beauty" to physical beauty if I had to choose. Since I'd be in the relationship for the long haul and I wouldn't want to fall for a pretty package full of garbage.

But that's not what this is about, so I won't belabor the point.

As to what makes physical beauty, I read somewhere, and believe it, that the definition has changed over the centuries. It's probably changed just in my lifetime, though I can't cite any examples. Maybe an example would be in hairstyles. If you'd saw a woman with spiky hair, maybe dyed pink, in 1963, it might not have appealed to very many guys. But face it, that's a great look today. Or something like that. I like seeing women with odd colored hair. They usually have the odd accouterments to match, like weird shoes, checkered or striped socks, a mismatched top, and other signs that she's into some kind of sassy fashion.

I'd say it was 25 years ago I was talking about "Earth Women," meaning the ones who looked au naturel, with a kind of hippie, loose fabric look, looking very airy and breezy, with hair straight down and looking distinctive for its non-distinctiveness. I love that look. I loved the looks of the original hippie women, and I love their descendants, the eccentric beauty of all that.

But this isn't just about fashion, it's about the bodily appearance, like the clip art cutie pictured above, virtually in the buff except for some nice undies, mismatched leg-ums, and of course an electrical truss. Could be a dinner bell for a mom to call the kids to eat with, but I think it's something from the truss family. Leave out those items and she's nude, giving us something to behold that we wouldn't see everyday.

We look at her, and if your eye is anything like mine, we notice the breasts. These have long been a mystery to me, how they happen to grow out at a certain age, where all the extra skin comes from, and how precisely they're attached. Think about the extra skin or the extra bodily length, were they flattened out. She has a flat chest earlier on, and if you drew a line from the belly button to the neck, it'd be a certain distance. Now, suddenly, breasts form, and, just to estimate, the line we drew would be maybe an additional 12 inches. How does this happen? Just the going out the top and bottom bits and a stretching of the middle? How they're attached, it's just like any chest except for the stretching. And how they happen to grow out at a certain age, it's in the DNA, you don't have to worry about it. Speaking as a guy, I was worried about certain things of my anatomy, thinking maybe I was passed over, but it all worked out in the end. I was a late shaver, is what I'm talking about.

Are breasts part of physical attractiveness? Certainly they are. Yes.

Then there's the other curves, going down, then the hips, which scientists tell us we're attracted to because of the evolutionary stuff having to do with pregnancy and reproduction. It's funny we're all thinking that even if we're unconscious of it or not in the market to have kids. I've got that in my mind all the time, so when I turn to look at a bottom, let's say, I excuse any lecherous thought as just nature's way. It is definitely remarkable how compelling things are in this area though.

Going down, we have the shapeliness of the legs. Those are great. Then I heard there's some guys into feet. These to me are simply utilitarian. There's absolutely no turn on for me when it comes to feet. Probably, again, because of nature, as mentioned above. Of what evolutionary sexual value are feet, except for her ability to outrun a lion if she's carrying your kid? Then it pays to have good ones.

What about a woman's face? That's where a lot of the beauty is. I saw a good show on the Science Channel about the characteristics of the face and how our eyes scan faces at lightning, intuitive speed. Our brains are crazy smart, it seems to be beyond dispute. Even if we're consciously the dumbest guy in town, our brains are still doing lots of stuff for us in the background.

I glance at women's faces all the time, and some of them really nail it. You know 'em when you see 'em. Beyond that, it's hard to describe what makes a face really stand out. Placement of the eyes, the way the mouth is, etc. It'd take all day to describe, but right now my brain isn't super smart, no matter what I said above.

Then last but not least, there's hair.

Inner Beauty -- A Sunbeam Called You

NIGHT:

There shouldn't be any discussion about physical beauty vs. inner beauty. It's been completely resolved. Except in our thinking.

This is one where we know the truth perfectly well, but still we wonder, "What will people think of me when they see me?"

Whether it's first impressions we're trying to influence or maintaining the impression people have of us from years gone by.

I'm very realistic when it comes to looks. You look the way you look. And if you worry too much about it, you're just wasting your life.

It's the same thing with age. There shouldn't be any discussion about it, because you were born when you were born. Period. Everyone was!

As for the impression we make, it really is up to us to use what we've got in the best way, such as being clean, normal for the situation.

There's all kinds of things you can do to present yourself as charming, interesting, pleasant. There's no reason to give up on ourselves.

The biggest secret is to feel like you've got it together inside. If you can believe in yourself inside, the rest takes care of itself.

And that's where giving yourself some mental boosts along the way will do you good. Keep it personal, reward yourself with an inner smile.

I have some childhood pictures I printed off, a big stack of them. I look at them and remind myself of my thinking back then, the innocence.

There wasn't any thought of these worries back then. Remind yourself! You're exactly the same person, just the thinking has changed.

There's lots of inner beauty when you start thinking of your parents, what they had to do (heh heh) to have you, and how special you are.

I think of dear old Dad getting ready for their date, thinking, "Oh boy!" And Mom putting perfume on her neck. Then that SPARK that was ME!

Everything in heaven, let's say, pushed them along. Then that beam of light shone down on the backseat of their car. A big stork got ready.

I was that sunbeam! That sunbeam was ME! That sunbeam was YOU, depending on what car we're talking about, where your parents were parked.

So it's like being reborn. We don't want to mentally regress, just get rid of some of the crap that's piled up from the years gone by.

Then we can remember (and not forget) how special we are and what beauty we have through and through!

Inner Beauty -- You're Unique

AFTERNOON:

Minutes. Just minutes. That's all I have for my self-esteem, confidence, and pride pointers. Today on the secrets of inner beauty.

A lot of our pride and confidence, rightly or wrongly, is impacted by our appearance, which most typically takes a very unhealthy path.

We think our worth and value are to be measured by what's on the outside, if it matches up with our ideas of beauty.

Of course it's a positive thing to look our best. If we can avoid looking slovenly, unkempt, disheveled, run down, that's good.

Anything can be spruced up. A rickety old barn about to collapse doesn't look so terrible with a fresh coat of paint.

But once you've done what you can do, then forget it, unless something else occurs to you that maybe you'd forgotten.

If you forgot, then remembered, do it, then forget it again now that it's done.

At this point you're going to be looking for your inner beauty. Note well, I said your inner beauty, which you DO have.

What kind of character do you have? Are you pleasant to others? Can you manage a friendly smile? Do dogs growl when you pass?

What are you telling yourself? If you're telling yourself you're a person of real worth, true value, that means something.

Always affirm yourself. You're a part of this whole scene we call existence. It's true nothing would be the same without you.

There's only one of you. There may be others who look like you, have the same body type, etc. But truly you are unique.

Live with that sense, that you're unique from the inside out, and that what you have to offer will be something very special.

Inner Beauty Is Also Sexy

MORNING:

Here's one that everyone has an opinion on, what beauty is and how we recognize it.

It turns out it depends on a lot of cultural things, including the time you live, what era in history you're from.

As I understand it, years ago the larger woman, seen in old artwork, was the ideal.

These days if the head is bigger than the pelvis, that's supposed to be good. According to the one fashion guy, Ralph somebody.

But Ralphie-boy needed to apologize, because he's just putting forth a bad image for women to try to emulate. An unhealthy image.

I've got the September issue of InStyle right here, and there's some stunning fashions throughout. Definitely Lady Gaga isn't alone.

Plus it's over 500 pages, so it's jam packed with models. Each one heard someone say, "You should be a model," and now they are!

Maybe they thought, "No, the field is too competitive." But if they use a ream of paper for each magazine, there's room for everyone.

There's beauty -- and I hate to be cliche about it -- and there's inner beauty. I know, that sounds like a ho-hum topic.

It's like transitioning from Pastor Durward's object lesson tadpole to a boring application on how we can change to something better.

But inner beauty is also a knockout, also sexy -- if that word is allowed on Twitter and Blogger.

And there are secrets of inner beauty just as there are secrets of physical beauty. They're not near as exciting perhaps, but still true.

It's a matter of putting your character through a kind of boot camp, making it submit to the formative process....

...And cutting out the junk calories of a badly oriented psychology...

The Secrets of Inner Beauty

I heard something about the way our eyes follow a layout, in an inverted S path, meaning we start at the top left corner and work our way across. But I'm stuck at the woman with the pink gloves. I can't see anything else. That's stunning! That's beauty!

But I must ... force ... myself to look across and take in the whole vista of this beautiful collage of beautiful people. Of course we have the pink gloves lady -- remarkable in every way, and we haven't even got the rest of her face, hair, and body. But she has to be a looker. I know I would definitely look twice.

Going across, we have her, then I'm just going to take in the females. There's some gorgeous ladies here, in my opinion. I like the quirky one in the middle -- she's throwing in some personality. The two plain janes side by side are showing the natural look, natural beauty, showing they don't need to spice it up to look ravishing. Then below there's just the nose and mouth and some of the face of one whose other looks are unknown in this cropping. I cropped it myself and it's half ambiguous, but really there's enough to go on with which to draw certain conclusions and say, Yeah!

The woman in the top left corner, with the gloves, must know by now that she didn't have to take it off to be a beauty, but occasionally that's a nice touch as well. And in this case, it goes beyond nice to being an absolute knock out. You have to say, and I don't think I have any reason to be fearful of contradiction, she is definitely gorgeous. And she has really nice gloves too.

The man I've chosen to represent the entire gender of men is definitely the most beautiful man I've seen this side of Elvis. And that's Adam Lambert. You take one look at him and you know men aren't as ugly as everyone says. He's got it going on as far as the hair, eyes, smile, whole face, voice, and so forth. To me, he has a good fashion sense. Or at least the people who dress him do, but I'd guess he has it too.

I'm thinking today of the secrets of inner beauty. And whether Adam Lambert has it or not is still an open question. I hope he does. Some of the interviews I'm seeing by him suggest he needs to work on it. I don't have any quotes at hand, but a little more reserve and modesty, even if feigned, would no doubt help. It's great to be glam, great to be flashy -- and I love him for it -- but really, pull in the pronouncements against religion, for example. Good grief, that's not going to do you a bit of good. You don't need to say everything you think. Get a personal coach to help you set some reasonable limits.

Inner beauty is a lot like outer beauty. Sometimes less is more. Like the stunning woman in the pink gloves. She could do the entire spread eagle and it'd be less beautiful. Or put her hands behind her neck like a self-inflicted full nelson, with her bountiful attributes on full display, and it might look great -- I'm sure it would -- but we wouldn't linger as long. The modest covering is best.

With inner beauty that is inner beauty indeed, and not just faking it, it's something you have or you don't. But there's no need to despair, because it's like other inner things, you can grow in it. By being reasonable, figuring out the kinds of attitudes people like, then pulling in and directing yourself in showing that.

The secrets aren't secret really, except that they're often lost on us.

The rest of us see inner beauty on the outside, because it's an expression of someone's character, what they're becoming as they put the good things of life together on the inside and express that. Cheerfulness, pleasantness, helpfulness, kindness, sympathy, etc.

If you've got it, keep going. If not, get it.