Thursday, May 14, 2009

Local Man Takes Hiatus

If you want to take the temperature of the nation, start with me. I am the local man, who just so happens to write his own blog. I'm as average as they come. I'm grassroots, rank and file, salt of the earth, and local.

Sometimes I know I seem to flatter myself that I'm above the average station. That I'm thinking thoughts mortals aren't generally privy to. That still could be. But when it comes to official demographics, socio-educatio kinds of stuff, stats, consumptive patterns, all of that, I'm very very typical.

I'm true to type as the local man. I consume what is necessary in the course of a day. About a half a pound of bacon, a few cups of coffee, other food and beverages, utilities, a roll of regular toilet tissue, and a few public services. I maintain a solid existence as a breathing, pulsating individual, intent on keeping his life going whether it seems vain or not.

When threatened I fight back. I avoid pain to the best of my ability. I try not to be taken by surprise, whether by criminals, crooks, perverts, terrorists, or unexpected medical expenses. I self diagnose to the best of my ability and seldom cry Wolf to my doctor. I keep him happy by exercising twice a month whether I need it or not.

You would think someone so typical would make the news occasionally. But it seems to be just the opposite that happens. The local man is overlooked in favor of the more eccentric, imbalanced individual, or the sick who suddenly fly off the handle. That being said, when I take a hiatus, it doesn't make the news.

I can tell about it at my blog, which I write without any outside help or assistance. All the ideas and content here are of my own doing. I use my imagination to the best of my ability. And I shun prefabricated ideas that may be suggested at "blog idea" sites. The day I use an idea that someone else has secondhand will be the day that I go into mandatory permanent retirement.

My hiatus will continue. Let there be no misunderstanding about that. But when I come back -- assuming I do -- I will continue on as the local man who has works only from his own ideas. I believe in that as a principle and no one will be able to talk me out of it.

I seek not vainglory or vain glory!


CHEYENNE, Wyo. — Two seasonal Yellowstone National Park concession workers have been fired after a live webcam caught them urinating into the Old Faithful geyser.

Way to go, brothers -- or maybe brother and sister -- I've done this myself. It's a very satisfying experience and leaves pleasant memories, especially after the scalding heals.

As you may recall, back in March I actually owned Old Faithful for a short time. It was an interesting time, which can be found in the March archives.


Those guys who peed in Old Faithful, they're really "in hot water" now, huh? Huh? Huh? Give it to me.

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