Saturday, July 16, 2011
Calling Attention To Yourself
This is just my opinion, but I think it's the way to live: I think it's good to call attention to yourself. And I also think you want to, but maybe you don't realize the rest of us want that for you, too!
Believe it or not, you don't have to jump up and shout to call attention to yourself. It can be done many different ways. You can sit quietly in the corner, absorbed in your own thoughts, and eventually someone will wonder about the quiet person in the corner. He's a man of mystery, how intriguing, or she's a femme fatale, a French phrase that's intriguing all by itself. Or you can jump and shout, or just short of that, be an engaging and obviously dynamic person, and you'll receive attention.
You can just use what Mother Nature gave you, your smile. The way you brush your hair. A walk of confidence. Boldness. Joie de vivre! How is it all the French I know are the intriguing bits?
I know there's lots of people out and about, on the street, who are trying their best to call attention to themselves, all the while appearing to be self-absorbed and cagey. And I'm willing to give it to them, watching them for a good long while, sometimes till they're out of sight, or even tipping down my glasses if they're too close.
Since they want attention, why not give it to them? If someone then looks at me, like, "What are you staring at, four eyes?" I have pull off some little line from the top of my head and say it with insouciance, like, "I love your look." Or I might just give a quick two thumbs up and go back to my reading. If you're in a situation like that, maybe giving more attention than might be socially acceptable, just go back to your reading and keep a knowing grin on your face, glancing up once in a while as if to say, "You still here?"
Do you need to be on top of fashion to legitimately call attention to yourself? No. I can't imagine saying yes to that, of course, because what is fashion? Someone else's idea of what's hot. What's hot is who you are. The other stuff just accentuates it, and it does not -- I repeat, it does not have to be quote-unquote fashionable. Any old garbage can be very sweet. I saw a guy downtown just today, true story, who had a raggedy shirt with a big tear on the back, a gaping hole, but with the way he was going across the street, the confidence he had, and the full Vigor Vivus of life, I fanned myself all the way home, "Tres chic!"
When it comes to fashion, or not fashion, since I don't really know what fashion even is, I love a disparate look, a little of this, a little of that, where it looks like it came out of five different drawers. Anything with boots is hot, but I'm leaving cowboy boots out of that, because they always draw the feet in for too much of an instep and tend to push the hips out so there's a bowlegged look even if you've never ridden a horse. Multiple colors is nice, striped socks, a lot of black, some coloring in the hair is sweet and a guaranteed attention-getter, comme il faut. Or go the opposite way, something that is so simple, like it came from just one drawer, a darling little chemise, is fantastic! Je t'aime! Je t'aime!
Then there's attention-getting that has nothing to do with clothes. Such as striving in every way to get people to notice you because you're great, or you're a genius, or for some other positive inner reason you have. This is where friends come in very handy. Because it's obviously a lot easier to do the things that call attention to yourself if you have a group around. Let's say you have a boisterous, charming laugh. If you're just boisterously laughing to yourself all by yourself, that's not usually a good look. That would be negative attention. But if the group is in motion, en rapport, and there's a harmoniousness all around that is pleasant to see, and you're standing out, your boisterous, charming laugh coming up over the obviously well-engaged group, that knocks me out. And it knocks out everyone else, too. Just be aware, this is a tough thing to fake; it's got to be real.
I go around town and I see a lot of folks with sorrowful countenances. I think the problem is, we all want attention, but we're not all good at getting it. Be encouraged, the rest of us are dying to give it to you, you just need to be bold and put yourself forward. You're a lot cooler than you think, mon petit chéri ou ma petite chérie!