Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Inevitable Comedown

I had the kind of night I knew I would have. Alternating visions of Heaven and Hell.

A victory like that last night -- involving actual sparks and flames -- has its inevitable downside.

Those in the know -- and I'm the only one on my block -- know what personal inflation is all about. It's great for a moment, to get you through the trouble, but you need something to counter it, quickly!

For me, it's the color white. A countering white agent/force that is easy to acquire, and tastes good, is white bread. We had a few slices in the breadbox. That calmed me down temporarily, took away the convulsions and gave me a few minutes' respite so I could manage a quick trip to the grocery store.

I sped through the store -- picking up a few loaves of white bread, a gallon of milk (not chocolate), cottage cheese, and shredded coconut. Starting to convulse in the car, I hastily made a cottage cheese and coconut sandwich and downed it in a couple gulps.

Getting home in record time, I got out our white serving platter, cut the crusts off and arranged the bread in a circular fashion around the edge, placed the cottage cheese in the center, and sprinkled coconut in the zone between. I poured out a big glass of milk. I systematically ate my way around the platter, starting at the top and going clockwise, then the coconut clockwise, then the cottage cheese, ending with the centermost remaining cottage cheese.

It worked. Now I'm sitting here very calmly in clean white underpants looking at a white candle. There's nothing like ritual to restore your sanity.

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