Friday, February 6, 2009

The Braintrust

We have brains. Everyone, except possibly Republicans. Just kidding. Even they have brains. The size of a walnut, still bigger than a flea's. Gotta give 'em that. Our brains are bigger than a flea's.

Let me start over. This isn't an anti-Republican post. That just came out.

The Creator is -- what's the word? -- profligate. "Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain," said the very bad Wizard. There's no brainless spider. Even earthworms have a field of consciousness that they're busy digging around in. The Creator spares no expense. Whether it's eyes, noses, foreheads, two legs, two opposable thumbs, every creature has them, without exception. And you know what opinions are like ... everybody has one of those too.

I notice there have been lots of dogs who have those walking through my neighborhood. And we have some dog owners who aren't using their opposable thumbs to pick up their animals' offal. They must think because it lies on the snow it's OK. What kind of logic is that? Flawed. My own dog is on a kind of schedule but sometimes she misses it. I'm thinking I might need a spoon and some rubber gloves. But the creator gave them this doorway for disposal and most of them have chosen to use it.

Whatever the body part, they've got it. And that means brains too.

I consider myself -- let me just say it -- The Braintrust of Humanity for figuring this out. Isn't it really something that I'm able to not only know these things but to say them? You have to hand it to me.

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