Monday, February 23, 2009

Sometimes I Feel Like A Grandmotherless Child

This is one of those days when the doldrums took over. It wasn't completely unforeseen, but I thought maybe I could stave it off. The thing is, when it's time to do the pre-staving, I deny the need, or discount it, then when the crash comes I regret it. But the time for regrets is then!

It's the famous phenomenon of The Psychic Price, the price you have to pay for everything. You know, when they say there's no such thing as a free lunch, they mean it. I'm just afraid I might see angels or something, because if I do, it's to the bottom of the ash heap for me.

In short, anytime you think you're the center of the universe -- or there's even something as relatively mild as crowing that you have a front row for history -- what's so bad about that? -- it all has to come crashing down. I keep thinking, mulling it over, how to both pay this price as we go and not be glad to have it paid, which is also an inflationary conclusion. There doesn't seem to be any way, unless, and I dread to say it, it's to purchase each second with a second of pain, all the while not seeing the pain as painful, i.e., to be endured, but as a normal part of life. In other words, it's Equilibrium All The Way.

Whatever there is to say about that, I've got it bad today, the whole crash and burn syndrome. And as much as I'd like to see it pass, there's no way I can really root for it, or it'll be worse. Here it comes!

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