Monday, June 6, 2011

King Wiener Takes The Stage

All bow down and do proper obeisance to King Wiener!

He has been around as long as anyone can remember, having given us the very first children. And before that? He emerged from the clay and immediately started sniffing the air.

He knows no party, offers allegiance to no nation, submits to no creed. We might call him the Universal Pervert, but it is from his proud loins that we spring, one and all, and that is no perversion.

Every day gives us the good news, he is alive and well, and cannot be contained, except for quick visits in private quarters, sometimes prolonged, and even then he is in and out.

He is the perfect being, with the shape it takes, the size that is needed, the will to be, the drive to succeed, and the shamelessness to get the job done, ever reckless as to the consequences. Because his key thing is the drive of nature, of course intrinsically beyond morality, beyond good and evil. It might happen on a pool table.

All hail! And remember, Father's Day is almost here.

This post is brought to you by our friends at

You can read my post on "FEELIT" prophylactics.
It's basically this: I have an old friend who is their district manager in Utah and Colorado. And since pregnancy rates are way up in those two states, he's in danger of losing his position.

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