The first one is not a tweet. This is the preamble to the tweets, which are recorded here daily or as often as I can manage, that my children, if I should ever meet a girl and have kids, will have a full record of what their father said. Every word being holy, I hate to commit linguistic onanism by having any of them fall to the ground:
Hey, it's 08-08 today, which with August being our fattest month, and it being the eighth, that's a very fat combination. What would be fatter? August 28 looks pretty big. Let me run through the possibilities. 20, 22, 26, 28, 29. Those are good sized, the 6 has a beer belly, the 9 a fat head. But 8 is big on both ends. Anyway...
Now that I have a feed back to Twitter when they get the bugs worked out of it, it's going to be sort of like double posting, but these will only have some kind of small 140 character (thereabouts) feed link, so it's no big deal.
Here they are, without further preamble:
What a great dance last night! But I saw things that the eye of man is not meant to see. Just like in the song 'Mama Told Me Not To Come.'
RT @jimmywellington: I wonder what Nietzche would think of Superman Underoos. | If Underoos are underwear, Nietzsche would prefer Uberwear.
I'm not going to say everything that goes on in the bathroom, but I'm starting to think maybe the I DID IT dance isn't necessary every time.
Amazing Race, how sweet it was But is that show still on? I watched it years ago, but haven't 4 a while. I'm wondering if it's here or gone.
Shout out to Jimmy Wellington (jimmywellington): You need to be a follower of me in return. I like seeing your funny writings.
"grandmaslump" on Twitter.