Thursday, September 3, 2009

My Relatively Immortal Tweets Of The Last Few Days

These "350 followers you get in a day totally free," they're like CRAP followers, right? Not actual people writing actual tweets, just CRAP?

~Look at me, I'm wonderful. Shooby dooby wah. I'm not a bit like you and you and you .... I'm a super showbiz star.~ --The Bonzo Dog Band.

Whoa, TweetDeck laid about six eggs right in a row. [Written about some bald guy I'm following, whose picture showed up all at once six times.]

Check the meat in your freezer. It's always later than you think.

I don't want an asterisk next to my name at the graveyard, meaning I died less than honorably with unfinished business.

Snagglepuss has been to the dentist, so now it's just Puss.

I'm eating oatmeal. Somewhere a horse is starving.

When making your will, don't forget the food pantry. Without instructions, your heirs could empty your freezer and throw away the meat.

I'm going to jump into this intellectual stream, among all the people I'm following, put my finger to my lips, and go "Blubb, blubb, blubb!"

If anyone sees the link to my blog, which ought to be coming on, please don't read it. I had writer's block real bad, and it's just crap.

Get me a microscope! I'm up and atom!

Yesterday I was bummed that a fictional house was nearly destroyed by a gang and gunfire. But today I'm happy, knowing it will be fixed!

I'm so happy today! This is a great day, so great the sun is rising on all four horizons!

September is a great month. It starts with S ... and that's one sexy letter!

The S is so sexy ... even the word sexy starts with it!

Look at the curves on that letter. It's got it up here facing that way .... It's got it down here facing that way ... the S.

@jimmywellington The beauties of the alphabet are in the eye of the beholder. But it's good to know someone else is thinking of this! in reply to jimmywellington

How does someone with only 33 tweets get 25,999 followers. I saw one. If he had me it'd be an even 26 ... but what's the point?

Give me a lever and a bathtub and I could move the world while displacing water. -- Archimedes

Here's the answer to your prayer: Quit worrying about it.

You're always wondering if you can trust my advice. Remember, I'm not as young as I look.

I am walking around in a mall bookstore, completely uncomfortable in my own skin.

Everyone is potentially a genius. Notice I said potentially. You just have to be really, really, really, really smart.

Can something be relatively immortal?

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