Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Plumbing Disaster Last Night

When I go to the basement to do laundry, one thing I don't want to find is standing water on the floor. But, darn it, that's what happened last night.

I walk through a darker part of the room to get to the light switch, and I'm not used to hear sloshing under my feet in the process. So I immediately had a very bad feeling about things when it happened. Right away I knew the night was shot as far as discretionary time went -- time for relaxing.

These things have to be taken care of right now.

I called my Cousin Roto to see if he had any favorite plumbers. His dad was one of the original Roto-Rooter guys in the area, and Roto was obviously named after his work, so, of course, who better to ask? His dad is dead, so there's no getting him. And Roto isn't doing it anymore. But he makes pretty good recommendations, so he told me who he'd call. It turns out now there's about a dozen different "Rooter" companies, so the Roto-Rooter company, when they went to trademark the name, somehow let the "Rooter" part of the name get away. Unless it's a generic word, like "Cola" in Coca-Cola.

I was looking at the names -- and thinking about the ones I didn't see, like if I wanted to be a plumber. Like how come there's not a "Presto Rooter"? But I Googled it and there is a Presto Rooter somewhere. What would be another one? "Rooster Rooter"? That sounds absurd. But I Googled it and there is a Rooster Rooter, in California. Oh my gosh. How about "Mighty Rooter"? You know what -- there's a Mighty Rooter out there too! So it looks like the hardest part about coming up with your own Rooter company might be getting a name. What are the chances that "Super Rooter" is taken? Pretty good, let me see: Yes, there is! Probably about the only ones not taken would be "Wimpy Rooter" or something weak like that. I don't see any. But there's a septic tank service on Wimpy Road in Georgia and a Wimpy's Backhoe Service in Florida.

Anyway, the guy from the Rooter company Roto suggested -- and to be fair, Roto said they're all equally good, at least in theory, since it's a snake thing and a one way pipe -- showed up pretty quickly for a Saturday night. He squeezed in back there in the little space we have and put together his big old snake, letting it do its work, at 400 rpm. He got done and I asked when it was going to go 400 rpm and he said it already had, so that was a big surprise to me. Meaning I'm going to need another clog to see it better... I'll wait.

We had a good conversation, a friendly time. I could see the crack of his ass while he was squeezed in back there sitting. It made me think of a Saturday Night Live skit from decades ago. But I kept looking away, for my own comfort and sanity. All told, though, we had certain things in common, etc., and I was super friendly. I'm always super friendly -- that's just my way. But it pays to be extra super friendly when you've got a guy with your house's plumbing in his hands. And speaking of hands, we had such a friendly time we wanted to shake hands, but since he had sewage on his hands we didn't.

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