Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Does This Make Sense?

I'm up and having a great morning, getting back into the things that do me most good. It's weird, I started this post last night, then didn't have the time to finish it, and now I'm getting back to it with an entirely different mindset. Does this make sense?

It makes sense to me, but of course I have the inside track on my own thoughts. Which started last night, by the way, with that very question, "Does this make sense?" I put it out there; this is no concoction of this morning. This is still last night's baggage, if baggage is the right word. It's a holdover, a carryover, a remnant of the previous day, with its own new meaning for today. Does this make sense?

Right now, I'm thinking micro and macro. Does this make sense? I keep thinking I'm captain of my own ship, all that, that the ordinary thinking center, as typically perceived (at least according to my own experience), is in charge. Then events, sometimes events, happen to shake that confidence. More than events, it's my own inner shifting that reminds me, when I'm clear enough to see it, that all is not as I pictured. Does this make sense? With the micro in this case being me and my abilities and/or inabilities. The bottom line being, if I haven't got actual control over the micro, what hope is there for the macro? Does this make sense?

It makes sense right this moment, thanks to some renewed clarity; as I said, it's a great morning. And that's the way I'd like to stay, if only...

It takes some push on my part to make it happen, insofar as I have any control whatsoever, and I believe I do. That makes sense. It really could be that I'm being blown around like a cork on the sea and therefore have little say over these matters; I can't exclude that possibility. But the way it feels -- I really allow for the possibility of a modified, limited captain of my own ship role -- is that I do have some say-so in my own psychology and experience. Does this make sense?

Just to push it a bit, how can any of it really make sense if I don't even know the ground on which I seem to stand? Since I allow for so many unknowns, making sense of things is something that seems like it will necessarily have to come later, not now. Does this make sense?

UPDATE: There are a lot of addenda I'm tempted to write to the foregoing. But they'd just get me in deeper. Does this make sense?

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