Do I have the gift of gab or don't I? That's a question that I'm thinking of tonight.
When I'm around people and they're talking, I know enough to trail along with them, responding, thinking ahead, anticipating where they're going. I'm usually thinking enough moves ahead that I can see it fizzling out before we get there.
I have Severe Conversation Fizzling Out Anxiety Disorder, for which there is no cute acronym. SCFOAD. Maybe I could make it into SCAFFOLD, Severe Conversation Anxiety Fizzling and Failing, Onset of a Lamented Disorder. Or SCAFFOLD for short. Since it's called SCAFFOLD, it's a major hang up. It's very bad noose.
There's a lot on my mind, that's not the problem. It's just I don't feel like saying it to everyone's face. Plus, I'm actually a very private person. I'm willing to listen to everyone else's confessions, but my own confession I keep in my psyche. I do fancy myself very self-revealing, but since I'm so busy editing it as I go along it sounds frantic even when it doesn't need to. I have a feeling that I fuzz up my voice a little too much, like there needs to be more treble at those times.
Some guys I know who have the gift of gab actually have the curse of gab. They're not editing ... or they edit so fast that it's seamless.