Friday, March 1, 2019

Shoot The Moon

No. 1 of 31 -- Thermometer series

Friends, you see on this page our very first thermometer and theme, the beginning of a great push for what promises to be an exciting effort, Shooting the Moon. That means giving it all we've got. And so there's many inspiring thermometers to come, all with the goal to increase this blog's readership and reach around the world. I hope for many subscribers and page views, and I can envision all kinds of things beyond that: conventions, speakers, seminars, ladies popping out of cakes, group tattoos, walking each other's dogs, there's no limits. How high will it go?

How fondly I remember the Lion’s Club back home raising a bunch of money for their good work, and the way they kept track of it on a thermometer. I said, "O Momma," trying to stutter a few words on how inspiring it was, but I was tongue-tied before I had a decent vocabulary and the ability to express awe. And of course thermometers were long a thing before we had phones to gauge the temperature, inside or out, plus one other major thing, in your mouth if you were sick.

I believe my experience with thermometers is common. And that you, being smart enough to read this far might feel insulted when I explain it like something you might not know. Please don't be, because I've heard the average reader isn't very smart. So whereas I might have my doubts about people in general, I’m sure you know everything. No offense meant and hopefully none taken. And please don't be so sensitive.

Something else should be obvious, but please bear with me as I say it: If you’re reading this first post, obviously you didn’t need a thermometer to lure you in or entice you. That makes you among the most wonderful people in the world, who happened to get here by your own talent. No one lured you. You came anyway. You merely had nothing better to do in a world of endless possibilities and here you are! That’s great! I can see how many visits the page gets and there’s always some. The thermometers hopefully will help us get much greater traffic, leading to subscribers, commenters, friends helping friends, and so forth.

This is going to be a real drive, going forward, onward and upward, and not reverse or down. We'll keep the windows down to get the cool breeze. And maybe if I make a ton of money I'll buy a convertible and we’ll put the top down on it too. We’ll put the name of the blog on the doors. I'll drive it in parades. We’ll throw candy kisses for the kids. A beauty queen will sit on top of the back seat with me. And if I’m lucky she’ll give me a ceremonial kiss and lift my arm in the classic victory pose. That's my goal.

(I actually did ride in a parade, but it’s been a long time ago. And that was a Volkswagen bug without a beauty queen or kissing of any sort. The next time will be special.)

As the days go by, please keep the blog in your tender thoughts. I’m hoping that with everyone’s help and the superior being out yonder somewhere, one of my biggest fans, that in just a few short weeks I'll have the Number One blog in the world and it'll be obvious to all. But you have to remember, I’m not just battling blogs like mine -- rants, etc. -- but all kinds of blogs, such as porn and famous people. And when it comes to blogs I've heard there's a few very formidable ones run by Pastun and Iraqi herdsmen, no less. Can we beat them? I don't know. The word 'round here is they're master bloggers with some of the greatest traffic registered in the world! No joke. So this is going to take an all-out effort.

Please join me for this sweet ride. Together we too can post some numbers we’ll be proud of while doing it all in a can-do spirit, then succeeding beyond our wildest dreams, always kicking ass and taking numbers, and always with the best of intentions and behavior.

No comments: