I could numb, I could be bitter. But no. I'm rising above it all. Nobody and nothing's going to get me down.
I've been shot at and rushed, held at gunpoint, and made to bare the contents of my freezer. My doors have been broken down, the screen door ripped by someone's knife, and they could've (but didn't) hooked up a chain around my freezer and pulled it right through the side of the house. That would've been much worse.
As it is, it does cause some heartache -- I'll admit it -- to see my curtains flapping in the breeze, shattered glass still shattered everywhere. But there's a simple solution to that. I'm not going barefoot or in stocking feet like normal, I have my shoes on. And I called a friend of my cousin in the house patching industry, and he's supposed to be here later this morning with a crew. So all that's cool.
Yesterday I had the darkest spirit of foreboding, or whenever it was. It had to have been yesterday, I guess. (I'm really rising above it.) I knew the possession of that file without a backup would be a problem. But now that it's gone, I'm fine with it. Of course they would want it. Whether there were any really deep dark secrets in it -- I only went through it for an hour -- I don't know. But the grange people are a secretive bunch. They don't take kindly to folks poking around in their business. So I guess I had it coming to me.
As far as I'm concerned, at this moment anyway, I'm willing to live and let live. Because I'm up here somewhere, rising above it all. What a glorious morning! I have a view of the sunrise today that I don't usually get, since there's usually a block between me and it. But with the windows all shot out, it's definitely a stunner. And that's touching my spirit in a positive way. I should've opened myself to an armed gang much sooner, just kidding. But I'm looking at the payoff. I can see the sunrise in a clearer way, and don't forget I have the roll of yellow "WARNING" tape the police left as a souvenir. It takes years traveling from one black market to another for one of these!
I checked on Grandma. She's fine. Slept right through it, bless her heart. In fact I thought I heard her giggling in her sleep today. So maybe she's up on a cloud with Grandpa. She'll be up after a bit going to the bathroom and I'll fix her a little something for breakfast. If she asks about the breeze, I'll just tell her it's a great day to be alive, etc., and that there was some terrible gunplay last night and that we're very fortunate to still be here.
So I've been up a while. I've surveyed the damage. Could've been much worse. Going to be better. Live and let live. Do what I can to make things better. Maybe I'll reach out once again to the Grange Sisterhood and let them know No hard feelings. We may as well live together. We have a rich heritage together, going way back.
That's the sense I got from the file. If there was a falling out -- it's past. And if I felt like quashing this secretive, brutal, totalitarian conspiracy of the country, that was last night. I'm fine today. Today I'm more interested in mutual understanding and making peace.
And ... today I'm more interested in this beautiful sunrise. And in sweeping up the glass so I can take my shoes off.