Miscellaneous crap today:
1) THE LADY LAWYER
"I need some legal advice and sexual release."
"I'm sorry, sir, my services don't extend that far."
"OK, skip the legal advice."
2) THE EMACIATION PROCLAMATION
"Why did Abraham Lincoln ask everyone not to eat?"
"Because he was making the Emaciation Proclamation."
"But it was the Emancipation Proclamation."
"OK, so why'd he ask everyone not to eat?"
I'm so virile I have balls that haven't dropped yet.
4) ROTO ROOTER
The Roto Rooter guy just got married. He finally took the plunge.
Target -- where tar babies shop.
I crapped so much my flush was 'To be continued.'
7) SALVATION ARMY POLE
Look at the butt on this thing!