I'm thinking maybe my natural state is a state of agitation. Every little thing agitates me.
It's much like I said about my rage a few months ago. Rage is usually thought of as something to avoid, something be ashamed of, something that's not good for you. But maybe they're all wrong. Maybe it's good just to be who you are.
My current headache is the status of my snow removal. The snow guys showed up and did a halfway job, failing almost entirely to scoop out my driveway. If it weren't for the wind patterns, swirling around behind the house, that part wouldn't be clear. They certainly didn't do it. Then at the end, the city truck came by and left behind about 2 feet of snow, like a snow berm.
So what was I doing after lunch today? Scooping out the driveway with a shovel so I could get the car out. Even then I had to barrel through it. And there were other complications. It's like one of those time travel movies. Anytime anyone does anything or fails to do something, there are ripple effects that no one could predict. That's the kind of noon hour it was.
The day is wearing on and no sign of the truant snow removers. Meaning my ire, my agitation, my rage is simmering, smoldering, and is about to spill over. I feel the creeping crud of anger starting to get the best of me. My rage is stewing, seething, about to bust out in a full scream, then later, surely it will be, I'll succumb to a meltdown like no other.
Where are those guys? Do they not know their business? Do they not know what snow removal entails? Isn't the term explicit enough, clearly obvious? That it at least has some tangential relationship to the actual removal of snow? The snow falls from the sky. It accumulates. It stays there, that is until a snow removal person removes it. That's my understanding of the situation. But of course I could be wrong!
I can picture my snow removal people in my mind's eye, thinking to themselves that they've done a great couple days' work, that their customers are well satisfied with their best efforts.
I'd love to give them a piece of my mind, if such things were allowed.