Saturday, July 13, 2013

What's Your Paywall Strength?

It's all happening very soon -- and I want you on board. My blog is going behind a paywall, where access to all my great articles will be exclusive to those with paid subscriptions.

The paywall apparatus is not installed yet, so there clearly will be some "leakage" in the days ahead. Some posts will no doubt still be visible to the general public. It can't be helped, and for those who take out daily or weekly subscriptions right away, that will be a downside for you. But, you know, growing pains! :)

Not to worry, though. All this is a matter of short-term problems. Soon enough, my posts will be your exclusive domain, to roam in privately as you see fit, and to feast on, bringing you much joy, happiness, and mental balance. (I've thought of submitting my blog to respected psychiatrists, to test my theory that it contributes to people's mental balance. So far it's only a plausible theory.)

But your main worry should not be whether the paywall's in place yet. What I want you to worry about and take care of is to get your financial information and chosen subscription plan to me ASAP. Do not delay, because without it you could be shut out at any minute. I don't want that to happen. I need "All Hands -- All Paying Hands -- On Deck."

Since yesterday, I've revised the subscription plans, to give you greater leeway, so you can pick from a wider array of options the plan best for you. Here are the choices:
DAILY -- $100/day, unlimited access up to 24 hours.
WEEKLY -- $700/week, unlimited access up to 168 hours.
MONTHLY -- $2,800/month, unlimited access up to 744 hours.
YEARLY -- $33,599/year, unlimited access up to 8,784 hours.
Looking at the options, you can see there's a great way to save money by going monthly or yearly. If there's 31 days in a month, you're paying $300 less than the daily rate. And yearly is even better than monthly. Not only are the same monthly savings included, but you save one additional dollar over the course of the year.

To sweeten the deal even further, there will be between four and eight "hard luck" scholarships, vouchers valued from $5 to $7.50 to apply toward subscriptions. This is a goodwill gesture on my part, I hope nothing anyone will exploit. I plan to parcel them out in a controlled, systematic way, lest there be a feeding frenzy-type atmosphere, as sometimes you see in impoverished countries when shipments of rice or medicine are delivered by helicopter. I saw one once where the people grabbed on to the helicopter and literally brought it down. That won't happen here.

As you pick your plan, please keep in mind that by choosing one you are also declaring your "paywall strength." I think this is worth considering, because you don't want to appear weak.

At the present time, frankly, I am reserving my personal respect only for the higher end plans. The daily and weekly seem like weak tea, better than nothing, certainly, but barely. There's something shameful there. But the monthly and definitely the yearly plans are ones I can respect. May each of you choose the yearly. I look forward to serving you.

I've been working on labels for the different plans. These are subject to change, but so far I've got:
DAILY -- Wimps
WEEKLY -- Banties
MONTHLY -- Sluggers
YEARLY -- Heroic Titan Warlord Gods
Other possibilities for Daily and Weekly might be: Creampuffs, Welps, Pipsqueaks, Brute Beasts, Dribbles, Failures, and Clowns. For Monthly, I've considered: Saints and Patron Saints. But it's for the Yearly that I've dreamt most exuberantly: Lords of Heaven and Earth, things like that.

If somehow I could ever sell a Lifetime Subscription (no survivor rights), I don't know what I'd call that! Maybe MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE / EXALTED STRENGTH HERO / VIDI VENI VICI / FATHER-MOTHER OF HUMANITY / PROTECTOR OF MORALITY. That category is so far out there, I don't even know the price I'd have to put on it. How about $5 million, with me reserving the right to negotiate a higher price and different terms after 10 years? With a $5 voucher, that'd put it at just under $5 million.

No comments: